don't let me down . . . anuseena post-marriage

an illuminating talk

Nandita shut the door to her room and slowly slid down the door, hot tears streaming down her face. She knew there would be a day when her parents would confront her about all the shit she got into at school but she certainly didn't expect it consist of her parent's believing a total stranger calling her a whore. The girl sniffled, as she felt her heart break into a thousand pieces over and over again. Another worst part was that she had finally come out to her parents but she knew they would probably prefer staying their delusions and believe that whatever she said was in anger but that was only partially true. Yes, she did say that because she was hurt and angry but it was the truth. 

Nandita had always imagined that coming out to her parents would feel nice. It would take a weight of her shoulders but with her circumstances it only felt worse. The girl felt suffocating in her shirt and unbuttoned it completely struggling to stop crying.

She desperately reached for her phone and with a blurry vision she managed to face time Prisha. The girl picked up after a couple of rings and Nandita immediately felt a small part of her soul regaining it's usual warmth at the sight of her girlfriend, lying down on her bike as usual, with a cigarette between her soft lips.

"Fuck, Nanda tu ro rhi hai?" the girl on the other side of the phone asked worriedly, immediately sitting up straight and abandoning her cigarette.

"I...I...don't know what the fuck is going on anymore. Fuck, Prish I came out to my parents in anger. They'll probably think that whatever the fuck I said was in anger and I just know they don't believe me and it makes matters worse. I don't think I have the strength of going through telling them this again." Nandita said, another set of hot tears streaming down her face.

"Nanda, nanda upar dekh. Look at me." Prisha said softly but firmly, causing Nandita to make eye contact with her through the screen. "They are your parents, they love you, it's gonna be okay." she said assuringly, Nandita's pain reflecting on her face.

"What if they don't accept me and think of me as a fucking outcast?" Nandita cried, while Prisha shook her head.

"No, Nanda, listen from whatever you have told me, your parents are exceptional. Yaar woh bhut pyaar karte hai tujhse. And agar despite all that, agar woh tujhe nhi accept kar rhe for who the fuck you are then they failed as parents. That won't be on you. Being yourself is not a crime, okay?" Prisha said comfortingly while Nandita looked up at her and gave a small sad smile.

"Fuck, how do you always know how to say what's right?" she asked but then continued, "It's just, I always feel everything they stand for is always against what I stand for. Like I could give you a million such scenarios, and I'm so afraid that they won't look at me the same, they'll stop loving me." 

"Never, Nanda they are your parents, they'll always love you even if they aren't able to accept you. But I...I...somehow, I don't think your parents would give you a hard time with this. They are wonderful people." Prisha said with a consoling smile while Nandita nodded timidly.

"Thank You for this. You are like the best thing in my life right now." Nandita said, now relaxing slightly and leaning back comfortably on the wall.

"I know." Prisha said mockingly, happy that Nandita was in slightly better spirits.

"I really miss you." Nandita said wistfully, while Prisha snickered.

"Fuck, Nanda we literally just sat together for 4 hours straight and did maths, that's like the sexiest thing ever." Prisha said jokingly.

"I know right?" Nandita said playing along, "I am so horny for your brain every time you get an answer right." she continued shaking her head while Prisha snorted.