fatal feelings (Devilman Crybaby)

You believe me, I know you do

As gentle as he first came to comfort him, he slowly stroked one last time over his back pulling away his hand in that same motion. It might have been more of a struggle at first, but reality came right back to him as soon as his hand left the blond creatures' soft skin.
It did indeed feel somehow wrong due to all the history behind them. Still, there was something else left, making especially Satan, painfully aware of how much he actually cared about this seemingly unimportant human he himself made the most important thing of his second existence.

"Lonley it was."  

A rather bold answer coming out of Satans' mouth. Failing to look at Akira again, he collapsed into a lying position looking into the universe, or whatever he was able to see outside of his view of the black creature. He finally got to feel everything he was repressing. It was like something was growing inside him, but very rationed. Like something just snapped and now there was no stopping it. Whatever it was, this feeling, made his just recently discovered heart ace in a way normally only known by humans. His heart felt suppressed by air, his lungs tight, leading to him feeling a heartbeat through his entire body leaving him in a state almost paralyzed. The fallen angel was overwhelmed once more.

Akira was, once again, a little offended by the blond creature. Then they were now sitting in silence once again and Satan didn't even care enough as to look at him. Having sat for a while now, he eventually decided he was going to lay down as well. He felt fine with sleeping again, not quite  safe after the incident but after another countless hours of nothingness he couldn't see what else he could possibly do. Laying down, the black creature turned his head towards Satan, remembering the silence once more. Then as he was running away, or as he was trying to, he witnessed it firsthand. It made him feel even lonelier than after Miki was killed.
He stretched out his arm, touching Satans hand gently.

"Ryo, is it still lonely?" 

He couldn't help it, his kind heart was shining through his anger and confusion.

"No."

Without even looking at Akira he answered. A smile growing on his face.
Finally, he understood.

"What are you smiling about?"

The black creature was amused by the sight of Satans smile, it made his generous heart feel at ease. Even with all that horror in the back of his mind. But all he got were giggles from the creature beside him. Though the question wasn't serious, this wasn't a response he was expecting, or better said, a response he wasn't expecting at all.

"You felt it didn't you?"

Satan's face got a little sad.

"Yeah."

The question felt so natural, the whole conversation. It seemed to make no sense, yet they both knew exactly what it was about and how it was supposed to go on.

"I'm sorry..."

His face got sadder every time he continued to talk.

"I didn't want you to have to feel it too..."

The blond creature grabbed Akiras hand firmly. It was cold, but he didn't worry a bit than it had been colder once. 

"I wasn't supposed to go this way... But-    you made it impossible for me."

His grip tightened a little more as he felt Akirans hand trying to withdraw.

"Impossible..."

As much as his heart was shining through again, he just couldn't escape the pain, the anger buried deep inside his brain and soul.

"I made it impossible for you? You made it impossible for me!? Have you ever thought about that!?"

He wanted to pull away his hand but it wasn't possible anymore. The tears were pailing up and as soon as he looked away they started flowing.