if only {rewritten}

7.

me: hi

unknown: hello

me: ¡Hola!

unknown: Bonjour

me: Bonsoir*

unknown: bonjour*

me: whatever

me: so do you have a pussy or a wiener

unknown: I have a wiener dog

me: aw...innocent, little you

unknown: if I were a girl and you were a guy, this could be sexual harassment

me: you mean you're not a girl already!!

me: but seriously though, I apologize for that

me: I'll try to dial it back

unknown: thank you

me: ok, so answer the question: guy or girl

unknown: neither

unknown: I'm a hot man

me: hahahahah-no

unknown: I am

me: nope

unknown: I'll show you

(picture)

me: ...

unknown: what

me: can't believe u had the FREAKING SENSE TO SEND A TOTAL STRANGER A PICTURE OF YOURSELF, U DUMBASS!

me: NOW I KNOW WHAT U LOOK LIKE! I COULD BE A KIDNAPPER FOR ALL U KNOW! AND U FRIGGRIN SENT ME A PICTURE OF URSELF

me: DO U KNOW HOW AMAZINGLY STUPID THAT IS!!!!

me: what color are ur eyes?

unknown: firstly, I think you're bipolar secondly, blue

unknown: and i told you I was hot...;)

me: ...meh, i've seen better

me: don't joke about being bipolar, it's rude

unknown: ok and what!

me: c'mon you ego can't be so puffed up that u can't remember there are hotter guys

unknown: whatever, text girl. we both know you're eye-raping my picture right now

me: in ur dreams, stalker

unknown: no, you mean to say that i'll be in ur dreams tonite ;)

me: ...u were so nice at the beginning...

unknown: hey, i'm getting to know u, so that's expected

unknown: now, u have to send me a pic of urself

me: what? NO

unknown: hey, it's only fair

me: PEER PRESSURE

me: how do i know that that's actually u? u might've gotten that picture of the internet

unknown: why can't u just let me know who are

me: because, I'm not stupid, stupid

me: bye same time tomorrow?

unknown: sure, text girl

me: that is still lame

unknown: I don't care