The Guy

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I'm sitting in my bedroom with my boyfriend Miles. We've only been together for a month and he's a really nice guy, but he's not the guy.

Right now he's telling me all about this place in New York where he wants to school but I'm not at all interested. I don't know why I invited him to the summer house today. It was such a mistake. I would much rather be with Belly and the guys, but instead I'm here. It's not that I don't like Miles, he's a good guy. He's funny, loyal, caring and kind and he's super cute. It's almost as if I started going out with him as a distraction from what I really want. I feel awful about it because Miles doesn't deserve that.

" Are you even listening to me right now?" I'm snapped out of my thoughts by his voice.

" Yeah sorry Miles I just zoned out" I smile but it's weak. There's noise coming from the kitchen.

" Are your parents home?" He asks.

" Oh no it's probably Conrad. He was by the pool earlier" I say picking at my nails. His face becomes confused and then I realize my mistake.

" Conrad Fisher? Why is he here?" He says crossing his arms.

" Shit I'm so sorry. I totally thought I told you! My family and the Fishers share this house. I live with Jeremiah and Conrad as well." I say. I know he won't be happy about that.

" I don't know how you forget to tell me something like that but whatever. We can talk about it later" he says clearly pissed off.

" Alright. Sorry again" I try but I don't really care. I'm such a bad person.

" Okay well I have to head out now. See you next week or something?" He asks gathering his stuff.

" Um yeah sure whatever you want" I say disinterested

" What I want is for you to give a fuck about me" his words are sharp and out of character but they aren't wrong.

" I'm sorry. I'm just tired" I breath touching his hand lightly. He retaliates and pulls his hand away.

" Don't bother" he says. I hear the front door close and I sigh a breath of relief. I'm such a bad person. I keep telling myself to just end it with him but every time I try he says something so pitiful I just can't, and then he's mad when I'm not interested.

I hear the front door open again and I groan inwardly. He must have forgotten something. I listen as heavy footsteps make their way closer and stop in my doorway.

" What Miles?" I snap. He's on my last nerve for no good reason. When I look up I'm met by blue eyes and golden curls. Jeremiah Fisher.

" Its just me. Did you and Miley poo have a fight or something. He literally stormed out of here" Jeremiah says. His nickname for Miles is Miley Poo. We laugh about it all the time.

" He thinks I'm not giving him enough attention. And he's pissed of that I live with two boys that I'm not related too" I say giving him a knowing look.

" Oh well. He's going to have to get used to me" Jeremiah says laying on my bed beside me.

" I'm going to break up with him. I just don't like him like that anymore" I sigh covering my face with my hands out of stress.

" I always knew you didn't." Jeremiah says. " I know you too well." He smiles.

" You knew? How?" I gasp sitting up a little to look at him

"You just didn't have that look in your eyes" he spoke nonchalantly. Like how could he not have known this.

" Oh. Well I just feel like there's someone else I have feelings for. It would be unfair to Miles to string him along" I say. I watch as Jeres face unconsciously falls. As if all hopes have been crush. Should I tell him?

" oh. Who?" He asks trying to sound as enthusiastic as before. 

" I'm not telling you silly. That's top secret information Jere." I smile a little. I don't feel like now is the right time to tell him.

" Well I just want you to be happy" he says poking my nose lightly with his finger. I'm always happy when I'm with you. But I could never say that out loud.

Later that evening I sat on Belly's bed exchanging exiting information about the day.

" Conrad is being so mysterious it's starting to piss me off. He knows I like him so why is he shutting me out?" She groans into her pillow.

" He just has a lot going on right now. I'm sure it has nothing to do with you Bells" I reassure her rubbing small circles on her back like we used to when we were kids.

" Yeah I guess so. I've loved him for 6 years what's another year to wait?" She laughs. " Anyways what going on with blue eyes" she asks me wriggling her eyebrows up and down. Blue eyes was a nickname we had given to Jere so he wouldn't know we were talking about him.

" Well I did break up with Miles today." Belly squeals with amusement. " And I almost told him but I just couldn't do it. The time didn't feel right" I sigh.

" Oh go do it now! Pretty please" she begs holding her hands up.

" Belly I don't know.." I trail off nervously.

" Oh for the love of god please just do it!" She practically shoved me out of her room and closes the door giggling.

I glance out the window and see him sitting by the pool. He has his legs dang,I'm in and he's wearing the same thing he was wearing earlier today.

I glance back to Belly's room and then back to him. I suck in a deep breath and head outside.

I slowly walk up to him praying that I don't regret saying anything I'm about to.

" Hey Jere" I say sitting down beside him.

" Oh hey" he smiles. His eyes reflect blue off the water.

" Soo I have a question to ask. And you can say no if you want" I begin. He raises an eyebrow and waits for me to continue.

" I don't have a date to the deb ball and I know Belly convinced Conrad to go with her so I was just wondering if you would take me?" He doesn't say anything he just looks at me so I continue. "Honestly Jere don't feel any pressure. I know you said you hate balls and you refuse but I thought it could be like a date or something....I'm just being dumb" I sigh when he still hasn't said anything.

" Like a date?" He asks. I have no idea what's going on in his mind right now. He doesn't look mad upset or happy. He just look like Jeremiah.

" I mean if you would be okay with that" I breath.

" Of course I would be. I would love to take you" he smiles finally.

" But I thought you said you hate balls" I laugh

" I do. But for you I will" he's giving me butterflies I swear. I decide to just rip the bandage off and finish my thought now.

" And Jere?" I ask turning fully towards him.

" Mhm?" He asks kicking his feet in the water not expecting me to say anything serious.

" Remember earlier when I said I was going to break up with Miles for  another guy" I ask. He still doesn't see where I'm going with this.

" Well ever since I was ten years old I've been sure that boy was you." His head shoots up and his jaw drops a little bit. " And I was sure that being with Miles would work as a distraction. A way to keep you out of my mind but it never works. Nothing works Jere. No matter who I'm with I just want you" the truth is I could go on and in about how he makes me feel but for the sake of his sanity I stop.

" Oh" was all he says as he reflects on my words. " I really really like you too" he smiles. " I was afraid you would think that was weird"

" Why?" I ask even though I already know the answer

" We've been friends for so long I just thought that's all you could ever see me as" he smiles a little wider. " I'm really glad you don't"

" Conrad and Belly have a little competition now" I laugh.

" Oh please there's no competition we already won" he jokes.

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