JUMBIE !! 'Bill Kaulitz

Bittersweet Goodbye

I slid down the door and slumped onto the ground in a ball of drunken shame. I'd officially sworn myself off of boys for the rest of eternity. Maybe I could become a nun or something. Huffing, I looked in the mirror of my blusher and pouted even harder. Not only was my soul crushed into millions of tiny pieces, but I now look like Hagrid and a panda did the nasty; me being the outcome. I cringed at my own thoughts and attempted to fix myself up. Luckily I could mend my makeup, but unfortunately my heart was beyond prepare.

My head was pounding against my skull, and I couldn't think straight as hard as I tried. I groaned at the sound of knocking at the door and just hoped that a black hole would form beneath me and swallow me whole right then and there. 

"I'm..shitting in here!" I yelled, my voice slurred from the alcohol as I heard a familiar stifled laugh come from the other side. I facepalmed, realising the laugh was Bill's. 

"(Name), don't lie to me. You just..took off outside, is everything okay?" He sounded genuinely concerned, and I was fighting myself to not unlock the door and run right into his arms. 

"I'm perfect." I emphasized the 'perfect', implying in every way that I was in fact not perfect. I heard a slight shuffle from the other side of the door and realised he was sliding down it to sit back to back with me. Leaning my head back, I sighed. "Looked like you and that girl were having fun..." I mumbled and he chuckled slightly.

"Not really. I just needed to get my mind off of someone else," He replied, sounding a little sad. I cocked an eyebrow before asking who it was. There was a pause, and for a minute I wasn't sure he'd answer, but then he did.

"Nobody, it doesn't matter anymore. I have to leave them behind." He said quietly. Leave them behind? I sat in silence, frowning. Did he mean literally or figuratively? I heard him clear his throat. "So why are you all locked up, alone, in the bathroom, at a party?" He paused between every point to exaggerate the concern.

"No-" 

"Don't you dare say nothing. I know you better than that.." I chuckled softly, looking down.

"I just needed to get away." I replied, not entirely lying. I heard him hum in understanding and we exchanged a comfortable moment's silence.

"Did something happen while I was outside?" He asked, and I bit my lip, wondering if I should tell him or not. After a minute, I stood up and opened the door. We locked eyes as he regarded my quivering bottom lip, that flipping sensation returning in my gut. I suddenly hugged him tightly, and he stood still, a little taken aback by the movement. I felt his arms wrap around me and all the drama from earlier faded into background noise. I breathed in his cologne and listened to his strangely fast heartbeat, just feeling safe and secure in that moment. 

"Something did happen," I sighed as we sat down outside the bathroom door. He looked at me with big eyes, urging me to continue. I told him about what happened in the closet with Liam, and his face screamed murder. Abruptly, he stood back up and took me by the hand into the living room. Sat on the couch was a boozed up Liam, who scowled at the sight of me.

"My balls still hurt, bitch!" He whined and Bill looked at me, eyebrow raised. I shook my head not to question it and he shrugged, turning back to Liam.

"You tried to touch her, dickhead?" Bill spat at him, causing Liam to flinch.

"So what! She's practically begging for it in that outfit." He scoffed, looking me up and down. At that moment, Bill flipped, and swung straight for his face. I covered my mouth in shock as Bill winced, shaking his bloodied hand. Liam's nose was much worse however. He held it, cursing and looked as though he was on the verge of tears. I held in a laugh as Bill's face was a mix of pride and shock at himself for the outburst. Tom and Heidi soon came over to see what all the commotion was about.

"Holy shit Bill, you got in a fight?" Heidi grinned, panting slightly. Tom gasped excitedly when he saw the state of Liam and high fived his brother.

"I've trained you well, oh no, no need to thank me." He smirked cockily, and I noticed he'd worked up a bit of a sweat. I looked over at Heidi, eyes wide, then Tom and Heidi again. She caught me doing so and nodded with a giggle.

"Oh my god!" I mouthed, half gagging and half giggling along with her. Tom and Bill exchanged worried glances at our sudden fit of excitement.

"Soooo, Tom and Heidi...Is it Teidi or is it Hom?" I smirked, placing my hands on my hips. Tom glared at me while Heidi flushed red.

"Hom?" Bill sneered and I smacked his arm, laughing.

"It's a work in progress!" I grinned and looked back at Tom, who was still scowling at me for injuring his masculinity. I chuckled sheepishly and took cover behind Bill.

"Oh, hi there" He laughed, raising an eyebrow at me hiding. We spent the rest of the night just messing about and laughing, care-free. Until the end of the night. 

"Pleaseee sleep over! It'll be so much fun!" Heidi pleaded, making me laugh.

"Okay, okay! The band has to leave for America tomorrow anyways." I said, my excitement dropping at the realisation. I looked at Bill who smiled sadly.

"We need to drop by the hotel and grab your clothes and stuff first" He said and I nodded.

"Great!" She turned to Tom and gave him the juiciest kiss I'd ever witnessed, making him flush red. I smiled at them both as Bill ordered a taxi. We hopped in and Heidi blew a kiss to Tom who grinned giddily.

"Call me when you get there!" She yelled after the car as it drove away. Tom sunk into his seat, pulling his cap further down his head in embarrassment. Bill and I laughed at him and it wasn't long before we made it back to the hotel. Gustav instantly ran up and hugged me as I walked into the room.

"I'll miss you, (Name)!" He sniffed and I patted his back.

"I'll miss you too, Gustav!" He pulled away and Georg rolled my suitcase over.

"I packed everything all up for you" He said, offering me a fist bump. I gladly accepted it and opened my arms out to Tom for a hug. He burst into dramatic fake tears and hugged me tightly. I rolled my eyes and laughed at his antics. He sighed heavily as he pulled away.

"You'll always be in here," He said, placing a hand over his chest.

"I'm not dying, Tom." I chuckled as he shot me a look of 'let me just do this'. I raised my hands in surrender and looked around the room for Bill.

"He wanted to wait outside for you," Tom said and I nodded, taking a deep breath.

"I love you guys" I smiled at everyone, saying my last goodbyes before heading down to the parking lot. There was a taxi waiting, and so was Bill.

"So, I guess this is it, huh?" I said quietly.

"Yeah...I guess it is" He sighed shakily, then pulled me into a tight hug. I hugged him back, tears threatening to spill. This was the hardest goodbye of all. 

"You better call or else..I'll come to America and kick you in the balls." I sniffled, and he laughed.

"I'm sure you will." He grinned as I got in the taxi. 

"Hey, (Name)?" He rubbed the back of his neck and shuffled uncomfortably.

"Yeah, Bill?" I replied, a little scared of where this was going.

"You know what I said in the bathroom? Well...You're the girl I have to leave behind." He said with tears in his eyes, dropping the hugest bombshell on me right as the taxi started driving. I let out a struggled breath, unable to swallow the lump in my throat. 

That couldn't be it. There were too many things left unsaid, too many feelings left behind. What was I supposed to do with that? I stared out the window, feeling slightly nauseous.

"Well, shit."

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Take a minute to let that soak in🥰. DONT WORRY. This is not the end. I still have a few things up my sleeve for yall 🤗