Revisiting my thoughts: Poem from within [Vol 4] *RE-EDITS IN PROGRESS*

Count me out

Getting up for a day I don't even want to start.

Wiped my tears away, but knowing that they'll come again.

Not sure about this journey anymore

Or at least where I am to start it.

All this fake positivity has finally taken a toll on me.

I'm screaming on the inside.

Ready to let it go in real life.

Can I just go home already?

Fast forward to when I'm established and happy already?

I know God hears me, but

I feel bad for always complaining to him;

Crying these sad, frustrated tears again.

Repeating my small mistakes.

One looking worse than the other.

How do I pass?

How do I keep moving forward?

What does trying even look like anymore?

Is it too much to move even slower?

I'm afraid and I'm losing hope fast.

Even if I slightly exceed,

I'll still go through a similar process as before

With the same mental drain,

Emotional pain,

And financial strain.

The white cloth sways in the distance

And I'm its owner.