Why Can't I Hate You?

~41~

The building was chaotic. People were running around, and alarms were blaring. There was only one goal on my mind, finding the Ratman. I took the stairs for convenience, so I could search every floor. Every second that went by my fury got stronger.

Finally, many floors later, I found him. His smug ratty face igniting a wrath inside me I didn't know was possible.

As soon as I attempted to shoot him, his army of guards attacked me. I went for the closest one to me, shooting him down. Then the next. One by one, taking them all out until my gun ran out. 

I kicked the one in front of me in the crotch, then another locked me in a chokehold, cutting off my airways. Scrambling, I reached into the side of my boot and pulled out my knife, stabbing him in the side of the neck, releasing his grasp. I flung myself back over the other one I kicked and stabbed him in the chest.

When I stood back up, I was left with a sight I never thought I'd witness. Jason stood staring at me. Terrified.

He reached for a gun on the floor by his feet. I did the same, quickly grabbing a gun from the floor, pointing it at the same time. They were both empty.

Jason chuckled to himself, dropping his gun. "Well, look what we have here."

"I didn't come here to stand and talk. You took everyone I cared about. You gave Newt the flare for the sake of your futile search for a cure. You gave him a death sentence that he didn't ask for."

"Who would have thought, all it took was getting rid of one insignificant control subject, and you've become a killer."

His words felt like a knife peircing my chest. A killer? Is that really what I've become?

"I always knew they underestimated you in training."

I looked back at the men behind me that I had killed. Murdered. Maybe he was right. But they worked for wicked, surely that made it more moral?

"You're one to talk about killing Janson." I raised my eyebrows."If anyone here is a killer, it's you."

A devilish smile spread across his face. "How about I give you a proposition?"

"I'm not here to negotiate."

"But you'll want to hear this. I want the world to be a better place again. There's still hope for humanities survival. There's still hope for a cure, and I think you can help."

"Think again, because I'm not helping you." Did he really expect me just to help him like that? After everything he's done.

"You've already lost some of your friends to the virus. More people are going to lose their lives, but you. You could cure them." He moved closer to me."If there was even the slightest chance you could could save Newt, wouldn't you not take it?"

I thought for a moment. Even if we did get Newt the serum, how long would it last him? A year? "What would I have to do?"

"Well, this procedure is one that you won't come back from."

"What do you mean?"

His stone cold gaze peirced into me. "We need your brain."

I understood now. For them to get a cure out of me, I would have to die. Living in the world I live in, my death is something I've always thought about. I've risked my life so many times, come so close to death, it's hard not to think about. Sometimes, it felt like the grim reaper was just around the corner, waiting to take me into his open arms and greet me like an old friend.

I could say no. Go to the safe heaven and live out my life, grow old, and die peacefully in my sleep. Or kill him right now and revenge Newt. But even if I did get to the safe heaven, a life without him didn't seem a life worth living, and I could save a thousand more lives. More importantly, I could save his.

"Maybe if I offered to give you your memories back, it would help your decision. And give you some peace of mind before you... go."

"You can do that?" The possibility of getting my memories back hadn't crossed my mind for a long time. I had accepted a long time ago that my past was gone.

"Of course."

I had so many questions I wanted answers to. Where I came from. Who my family was. I could get them."Ok."

"Follow me."

I followed him into a room that was small but spacious enough for multiple people. He motioned for me to lie down onto the bed, and I shakily climbed onto it, laying flat on my back. A doctor entered the room, pushing in a trolley full of medical supplies.

"It won't take long. Just try to relax."

Relax. For all I know, he could kill me right here right now. Relax wasn't really an option. What was I doing? This was a huge risk.

I felt a pinch in my arm, and then my vision slipped away with my mind.