《16》

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When I meet his pupils,he turns his eyes away

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When I meet his pupils,he turns his eyes away..
And when he looks at me,I record my vision elsewhere in the room..
I see life in him,he sees life in me..
He makes random drawings in his notebook, and I write incomprehensible phrases about and me and him..
He sings a song and I see our story in it..
As I always say,I see myself in him as my mirror that does not disappoint..
So I look at him for a ray of hope and he disappears!
Is it possible for him to destroy me? Or maybe I was like everyone else in his life but his fear of me stopped him..
Yes,fear embraces me,embraces him too.
Fear has always been a mediator between us..
As Mahmud Derviş wrote in his Poem:

He doesn’t see me when I sneak peek
I don’t see him when he sneak peek.
He is quiet,and so am I.

He is the seen and the seer
I am the seen and the seer.
I move my left leg.
He moves his right leg.
I’m humming a song
He hums the melody of a similar song.

I think: is he the mirror in which I see myself?

Then I look into his eyes
But I don’t see him…

Thinking: maybe he’s a murderer, maybe
He’s a passerby who thinks I’m a murderer.

He’s scared,and so am I.
-Beginnings-

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