If Ever (COMPLETED - EDITING)

Chapter 64 - Kai

Kai

I woke up too early, we were still on the couch. We had barely slept and Ella was still covering me deeply asleep. I didn't want to move, I didn't care what time it was I needed more sleep. I kissed her face. And it was the weekend, we didn't have anything going on today except a scan we had to be at later. I hoped they gave me the ok to drive, I missed driving. And I didn't particularity like being driven around.

I thought of everything she had told me last night. It hurt. It fucking broke me further to know she had endured more than she had let on. Was this one of the details she had to tell the cops? I'm sure it was. But she was also right, it was over, done. She was free. She mumbled in her sleep, burrowing further into me, I tightened my arm around her. Pulling the throw rug over her further. I checked my phone with my free hand to see several more texts from Mare.

I sighed and clicked to check them. She had apologised for behaving badly and said she was sorry too for taking it too far and she said the same thing Ella had said, that she missed having fun and was sick of being stuck in a hospital bed for months.

I got it, I knew that. It's why I had probably given her the attention I had. But in hindsight I hadn't realised she would develop feelings for me knowing I was with Ella and I couldn't have that. Ella had basically ruined herself for everyone, she put up with all kinds of shit from everyone. Like she said, she was a mouse and all she wanted was me and I wasn't going to let that change. She was all mine and I was happy as fuck to just be hers. I didn't care about hurting anyone to make sure it stayed that way, even if it meant hurting Mare's feelings.

I texted Mare back, not to worry about it and that I was sorry if I made things harder for her but she couldn't have feelings for me. Because I didn't have any for her and I couldn't because I loved her sister more than my own life. I so badly wanted to tell her how much my poor girl had suffered for her, I wanted to cuss her out like I had Mel. But Ella was right, Mare was still recovering. 

She asked if I still wanted to visit, and I said I'd think about it. I wasn't sure if it would be a good idea, I'd check with Ella. So, I said I'd let her know. I told her to talk to her therapist and work through this. She asked if it had anything to do with the way she looked, I said it had nothing to do with anything and it was very simple, I was in love with Ella. That was it. She asked me why Ella was being so insecure if we were engaged and I could have told her why, but I didn't. I said she wasn't and I simply imagined her doing the same thing and it would have driven me insane if she had done it. I saw another text bubble but I was simply so sleepy and didn't want to deal with this shit now. I told her we'd talk later and I had to go.

I needed to sleep. I dropped the phone on the table turning it off and went back to sleep putting both my arms around her. She hummed, snuggling into my neck and it made me smile.

I woke up again, switching on my phone, it was 2 in the afternoon, fuck... Had we slept the almost the whole day? Ella still looked comatose. She did love sleeping. And it was nuts she called me grumpy. It took me ages to get her up in the mornings. The only thing that didn't make her grumpy was wake up sex. Not that I was complaining at all.

I still had some work out in the studio. I kissed her face and moved her hair out of it.

"Baby?"

"Hmmm?"

"I need to be in the studio for a bit ok? Will you be ok here?"

"Nooooo. Kaaaai" She grumbled hugging me tighter. I laughed, I loved it when she was grouchy, it was the cutest thing. I doubted anyone in her life had seen this side of her.

"Please, my love."

"Kaaai, noo." I kissed her face ten times.

"Pretty please, baby, with a thousand kisses."