If Ever (COMPLETED - EDITING)

Chapter - 78 - Kai

I just wanted to be left alone with her for a bit before the madness I knew would ensue. We drove home. Evans thanked her for the meal for 4, she laughed telling him he was most welcome. I didn't know what that was about. I didn't ask. My brain was a scramble. I didn't know how any of this had happened? I removed her heels as soon as we got in the car, regardless of how hot they looked. I knew she'd have red swollen welts, she'd worn the damn things the whole evening without a single complaint.

I pulled her feet into my lap and I massaged them, while she leaved on me. She asked if I was happy with the show and had it lived up to my very high standards. I laughed and said yes, strangely it had.

"It'll still be there for a few more days. Just no one will be able to buy any of them, unless the original owner wants to sell for higher than they paid." She nodded. I just sat there massaging the blood back into her numb feet thinking, I was about to get married. Shit. Fuck. Oh my god.

It was the most surreal thought. I would have been ok even if she had never suggested it. But truth was I did want it. I'd wanted it for a while now. I felt like I needed all of her even though I already had her.

We got home, I kissed her so long carrying her all the way upstairs. I needed to get this dress off. It wasn't as easy as the others. She wore a hot as fuck corset underneath and I lost my mind for a bit there. I had sent her to heaven just with her piercings, she almost floated off the bed.

We needed to pack but I needed her, we made out for ages. We just lay there panting for a bit. I needed to know. I needed to know why she'd decided to do this. It shouldn't have mattered at all, but Ella very rarely did anything without reason.

"Baby?"

"Hmmm?" She was breathing hard.

"Why are we doing this? Why now?"

She took her time answering me, "Kai, baby, I've been thinking about this for a while."

"You have?"

She nodded on my stomach. I was playing with her hair. "Come here baby, can you look at me, please." she moved up to me, so I could pull her close, her head on my pillow and she looked at me, hand on my face. "I've just realised, I've missed your face like this." She said, I smiled.

"Kai I've put too much on you. I have since the day I met you and it would be too much for anyone. And you've dealt with all my shit for a year almost. And you haven't complained once. I sometimes I don't understand why you want me. I don't get why you're still here every morning. I realised when I played piano in that mall in Oslo....Baby you deserve better. Not the broken me. I want to make the effort to be whole. For the both of us. I know it comes across as weird or whatever, but I need this...I think I just needed to be closer to you, not because we're not, but I feel like I need it."

I was a bit stunned into silence; I just about managed a nod. She was saying exactly what I'd been thinking.

"And I don't want this name anymore, Kai. Does that make sense? I can't have this name anymore; I feel like I can't move on with this name." She looked down. I knew exactly what she was talking about. I'd done the same thing. I didn't want anything to do with my dad including having his name. And she didn't want anything to do with either of her parents, she wanted mine instead and I was not going to say no to that. Ever.

I nodded, kissing her. I pulled her face up to look at me, she did. Her eyes still had her make up and they were so stark in her face. "Baby, I love you." I said. she smiled and it was the most beautiful smile ever.

"So, you're, ok?"

"More than, my love." She nodded, something else was bothering her. "Ella, what?" She bit her lip, I pulled it out again. "Kai, you know it's not because of who you are right? I need you to know that." Was that what was bothering her? I wanted to laugh. Ella was by far the only person that had never, ever cared who I was. She didn't know who I was when we'd first met and she hadn't bothered with any of the frill after. And she never would. That thought had never crossed my mind once. She was the last person on earth that would do this just for who I was. I kissed her hard.