The haunting Love: That is Unrequited

Lion's Club Concert

Intense practices for our upcoming end of year performances were draining but exhausting. In the midst of the preparations there was a concert being performed at one of the nursing homes. It was a Sunday and it was a Sunday I had decided to fast. Fasting on performance days was a terrible idea, you should always eat so you don't pass out on stage- and this day, I was in three ensembles. Big Band, Wind Symphony, and of course Choir. Preparations were going well but I could feel my stomach hating me for choosing today to fast. We stopped for lunch before the actual performances in the early afternoon and the home had provided pizza. I sat with my friends and was chatting merrily until they had to go off and get changed. As it wasn't a school day, dressed in my nicest casual wear that showed off some of my figure but not in a skanky way, knowing he would be around. The entire day had been so busy we barely said hi to each other, until the break when he came right over and sat next to me with pizza on his plate. "Did you eat anything yet?" I simply looked at him blankly and blinked. He looked me in the eyes and chuckled as my stomach made a loud gurgling sound announcing the answer for me. I clutched my stomach and looked at him with puppy dog eyes "I'm fasting... I can't eat anything." I must have sounded pathetic or looked pathetic, because his expression softened, and he held out his plate with his other slice of pizza and offered it to me.
"Here do you want this slice? You shouldn't perform on an empty stomach. Plus, I don't want you to be hungry, you need the energy." I looked at the plate and then his face, which had sauce around his mouth as he happily munched on his slice and pouted.
"I really can't, even if I want to, but thank you for offering. And I can't eat your food, you need it too."
"You know these are large slices, right?" I couldn't tell if when he went to get his plate of food, he purposefully grabbed a slice for me, or if he was genuinely hungry and just felt bad. Some of the junior students came over and sat on the floor in front of the chairs we were sitting on and started chatting up a storm. Another friend who had gone to change had come back and sat next to me and we all continued to chat while Zhang finished his food and then all went off to prepare for the performances. I changed into my performance uniform and was sitting in our designated, student seats, when Zhang came and sat behind me. I didn't turn to chat with him while the performances were happening; when it was our turn to perform, I left my trombone to my seatmate and walked up to the stage area, as I walked up the stairs, I caught his eye and we exchanged smiles which didn't help to calm my nerves at all but made me happy and ready to perform my heart out for these frail, elderly citizens. After the choir, it was Big Band and Zhang was filling in for our pianist. My seatmate had brought my instrument and my folder. I had to calm and mentally prepare myself for the solo I had to perfectly execute while trying to ignore Zhang sitting being part of this moment. If I messed up, he would think I was a bad player. He already knew how terrible I was at math; I didn't need another thing for him to doubt. I don't remember playing the first two songs but when my solo came, I stood and belted out an almost perfect solo. It was a proud moment for me, and I sat feeling free from all the pressure that had built up and enjoyed the rest of the performances. I stayed back to help clean up, move stands and amps, to help just so I could be one of the last students and say goodbyes to all the teachers, specifically one. As we were all standing around, teachers were discussing who would go back to the school to put away the resources. A few teachers volunteered, including Zhang, and I offered my assistance as well, but was shut down by Zhang. "You haven't eaten anything all day, and you've helped us pack up here. I think you should go so you can eat and rest, you did a great job today." I could hear the genuine concern in his voice and the proud look on his face when he praised me. He was what helped my get through these performances, and the fasting, with his healing smile.