Tales of Camp Half Blood

Tale 29; Mourning

Travis wasn't allowed to mourn his big brother. Luke wasn't even dead, Travis privately wished that he was, it would be better than him being a traitor. He'd tried to kill Percy for gods sake, the guy had only just turned thirteen. He was a year younger than Travis, and the thought of how Luke had almost succeeded in killing him left Travis feeling genuinely ill.

He felt guilty for missing the signs that would have warned them. His brain listed off everything horrible Luke had done and plans to do in the future to try and convince himself to hate him. It didn't work that well though. For some reason the stories of what Luke had done couldn't connect with the image he had of his big brother in his mind. The big brother who always made sure every person in the Hermes cabin felt welcome and safe. Who treated the unclaimed kids as his own siblings. Who was always smiling and ruffling Travis's hair.

Travis felt a sob build up in his throat as he held back his tears, had that all been a lie? As much as he wanted to wail and sob about how unfair it was, he didn't dare make noise and accidently alert someone to his hiding spot near the edge of the forest.

What would they think if they saw him crying like this over a traitor? Would they think he was Luke's accomplice or that he was a monster for being able to mourn a would be murder and a traitor to the gods? He wouldn't have the same excuse as Cecil, who was young enough everyone looked at him with pity. No, all they'd see if they saw him crying over Luke was him sympathizing with the enemy.

And he very well couldn't cry in the Hermes cabin. His siblings were already taking it hard enough, he had to be brave and set a good example for them. And he knew if he went back there now he'd just break down again. News had only broken half an hour ago of Percy being poisoned and subsequently healed. The other kids in the Hermes cabin didn't all fully get it yet. If Cecil asked him, 'when is Luke coming back? He isn't gonna be gone long right?' Or something like that, Travis knew he would shatter then and there. His ten year old brother didn't even get what was going on.

Maybe it was the cowards move to hide here instead of being among his other siblings right now. But camp was up in arms, everyone was furious about what Luke had done. Travis was furious, even more so than anyone else, for him it was personal. And yet he still mourned, he still let himself cry.

He already knew the head counselor position would be pushed onto him and he didn't want it. But he had seniority and was a year rounder, he doubted he'd get out of this. He couldn't manage cabin eleven by himself, he couldn't be a head counselor like his older siblings seemed to want him to do. It was easy for them to say, they all went home during the school year, they could mourn on their own time in the privacy of their mortal homes. Meanwhile Travis would be left to pick up the pieces of their broken cabin, to hide his own misery behind his normal loud attitude, to weather the inevitable mistrust and anger directed towards them from the other cabins.

Quietly, Travis found himself praying. He rarely actually prayed to his dad outside of the obligatory meal prayers. But right now, all he wanted was some guidance, or at least a sign from above that everything would be ok. Even if it was just a tiny acknowledgment, that's all he needed right now.

Seconds ticked by and he got no answer. Figures, Travis thought numbly to himself. Why would his father ever waste the time it would take to reach out to him. The only time he'd seen the man was when Chiron took them to Olympus on the solstice. And that had obviously ended so well.

He picked up a stone, pelting it at a nearby tree with a shout of frustration. The stone merely bounced off, and it didn't do much to settle the rage bubbling inside him.

"Thanks dad," Travis mumbled, "A+ parenting really. It's not like Luke's daddy issues almost started a war between the gods or anything," he whispered to himself.