Breakfast with Amber

September 2019: My First Target Run

I know what you're thinking. "Daphne, you've never been to Target before?" Allow me to clarify. I've been to Target before several times with my mom to buy things such as clothes, Pokemon cards, and the occasional grocery. However, I was a college student now, and I didn't have Mom with me to accompany me to Target. It wasn't like I'd need to go there, right?

Well, then I had an idea. I was a budding YouTuber back then, if by budding, you mean I had 24 subscribers as opposed to my current 832, and I was always looking for new ideas. My next idea would come in the form of watching every single one of Thomas Sanders's Sanders Sides videos up to that point. Yes, I was one of those kids my freshman year. Then I thought, "I could do that." If I could just film myself in different parts of the room talking to the different aspects of my personality, I'd be famous! (Or not. The algorithm still hasn't discovered me.) It was when I went into my closet that I noticed I didn't have a lot of clothes that would fit each of the characters. The black dress with the tan diamonds on it would be good for Creativity, but that left no dress for Morality. There was no pretentious button-down shirt for Logic or makeup for the scene kid, Negativity. (Freshman me thought scene was a great opposite to Virgil the emo from Sanders Sides.) I'd have to buy some new clothes, and where do we go to buy clothes? Target.

However, I can't drive there. I might have been given a driver's license for some reason, but I don't have a car. Luckily, when I first arrived, Trinity University, or as I began calling it my junior year, Radical College, had a shuttle that would take you to Target on Saturdays at 2. I was usually one of, like, three people on it. All the other times, I was the only person. I had my shopping list of clothes for Daphne's Doubles, as I was calling it at the time, and Pokemon cards because Target, and all I had to do was wait for the shuttle to roll in.

The shuttle was a white van with the Trinity logo, and it was always the same person driving. He was this pasty, skinny white guy with glasses and hair colored like the Grateful Dead logo. From what I remember, his driving scared me a little, but he still got us to the Target alive. The shuttle wouldn't be back until 4. That meant I had two hours to get all the clothes I needed. And the Pokemon cards.

I made my way to the women's clothing section to see what I could find. First, I came across a small rack with some colorful dresses from a brand called Lilly Pulitzer. I thought these were the perfect vibe for Morality and took a few to the fitting room. In retrospect, I've realized that Lilly Pulitzer might be a brand for petite girls because these dresses were a struggle to get into. They were just too cute, though, so I picked the one that was the least of a struggle. It was blue with pink swirls on it, it had no sleeves, and it clung to my figure. Perfect! On to the next clothing item.

For Logic, I just wanted a simple button-down shirt as opposed to Logan's sweater in Sanders Sides. Luckily, I was able to find a white one, just what I needed. I also found a tan and pink scarf for a bit of added pretentiousness. Finally, I had the hipster look down.

For Negativity, I already had the bright pink hoodie. I just needed some makeup and hair accessories because I don't wear makeup, and my short hair doesn't really need accessories. I wandered into the girls' clothing section because they also keep some hair accessories meant for girls there. That's when I hit the jackpot: gigantic Jojo Siwa hairbows available for sale. Was I really going to ironically buy Jojo Siwa hairbows? I decided against it. They were past the realm of scene and in the realm of whatever the heck Jojo Siwa has going on. Instead, I bought a couple of small pink flower hair clips since they were cute enough that Morality could also wear them. Next, I went to the makeup section to see what sort of brightly colored eye shadow I could find. Most of the shelves had normal colors: black, brown, dark blue. None of these colors were nearly scene enough. That's when I looked down and found the second jackpot: one brand that specialized in bright and sparkly. I took some neon green glitter eye shadow and went on my way. Then I went to the trading card wall and plucked a pack of Pokemon cards. That left me an hour and a half. Um...time to browse, I guess.