Breakfast with Amber

March 2022: I Threw Up

WARNING: This chapter contains graphic depictions of poop and barf. Read at your own risk.

I know what you're thinking. "That's disgusting." Yeah, it is.

You might also be thinking, "Daphne, how is this a story? People throw up all the time." Not me. I have what people call a steel-clad stomach. I don't throw up. In the car on a long road trip? I'm chilling. On the plane? Get me my Nintendo Switch. On a boat? Trying to keep my balance but otherwise fine. The last time I threw up before this was in sixth grade, and I'm a junior in college. Without further ado, here's I Skipped Writing About Another Disney Trip to Talk About Barf.

It all started on Saturday. My parents were in town for my ring ceremony and also the regional semifinals and finals of the NCAA basketball tournament. On Thursday night were the semifinals. Then on Friday, we went out to dinner at Augie's BBQ Smokehouse. Then came Saturday, which started with the ring ceremony in the afternoon.

First, I should say it was allergy season, so I was not enjoying that ring ceremony. I did, however, enjoy the ring. It's a tradition to dunk your ring in the fountain once you get it. The water was cold. During the outside reception, I tried to stay away from any plants that might be producing pollen. Then Mom suggested taking a picture of my hand with the ring on some flowers. Uh oh.

Several minutes and used tissues later, we took some cute frosted sugar cookies with us and left for my room. There, we changed from our fancy ring ceremony clothes into our sports regalia for the final game of the south regional championships: Houston vs. Villanova. I rooted for Villanova because there were a lot of Houston fans, and I felt bad. Thankfully, Villanova won, and once the game was over, we needed some dinner. There's a Plucker's between the stadium and Trinity, so we decided to get a spot on their digital waitlist since Dad has the Plucker's app on his phone. There, we spent the evening eating wings and blue cheese potato chips that we got because Dad is part of the rewards club, and we watched Duke compete in the west regional finals. At the end of the night, my parents said their goodbyes before dropping me off at my dorm.

The next morning, I thought "Man, I really need to go to the bathroom," so I went to the bathroom.

Then 15 minutes later, I thought, "Man, I really need to go to the bathroom," so I went to the bathroom.

This happened four times. Then I went out and got breakfast.

Sunday also happens to be laundry day. I made it through washing the lights and had made it to putting the darks in the washer, and I was on the couch in the laundry room writing when I got a wicked stomachache. I could not even focus on my writing because it hurt so bad. In fact, I was curled up on the couch looking up the school health center to see if I could schedule an appointment. As it turns out, the health center isn't open on weekends, and I don't have any sort of stomach medication because as I said before, I don't get stomach problems. I guess I'd just have to suffer for the next day. Oh, and I needed to use the bathroom, like, right now.

I was in Isabel Residence Hall right now, and my room is on the clear other end of the McFarlin dorms. I honest-to-goodness didn't think I could make it. There had to be a closer bathroom, and it wasn't like I could just barge into someone else's room and take a nasty shit in their toilet. Then I remembered there was a bathroom in Heidi Lounge. I got up and power-walked all the way to Heidi Lounge. It was a one-seater, and the lock only sort of worked, but it would have to do. As I emptied my guts yet again, I noticed something strange: whatever was coming out of my butt, it did not feel solid. Aside from the sensation of liquid coming out where solid poop is supposed to being greatly displeasing, I knew something was definitely wrong with me, but the health center was closed, so I couldn't do anything about it.