honey when i'm above the trees
i see this for what it is
but now i'm right down in it
all the years i've given
is just shit were dividing up
showed you all my hiding spots
i was dancing when the music stops
and in the disbelief
i cant face reinvention
i haven't met the new me yet
Y/NS POV
me and finn splitting up really gave me a different perspective on life.
when we were together i thought i could see everything for exactly what is it. but i don't think that's true anymore.
we were together for seven years, seven years of love. seven years of happiness.
now all that's left of those seven years is shit we're dividing up.
he knew everything about me.
he saw me at my most vulnerable state. he knew all my hiding spots, every secret, every wish. everything.
we would dance even when the music would stop. we were so in love.
so many people and fans are in disbelief that we are no longer together.
i mean, so am i. people keep telling me "you'll find your real self now that you're free" or "the best thing about a break up is getting to reinvent yourself".
but i don't want that, i don't want to face reinvention.
i haven't even met the new me yet.
there'll be happiness after you
but there was happiness because of you
both of these things can be true
there is happiness
past the blood and bruise
past the curses and cries
beyond the terror in the nightfall
haunted by the look in your eyes
that would've loved you for a lifetime
leave it all behind
and there is happiness
i know i will find happiness after finn. that's how it is.
things change, people change, things move in and so do people. everyone moves on.
but there will always be a part of my happiness that was because of him too. he made my happiness.
all of this can be true because there is happiness everywhere.
we may of left our love behind but there is still the happiness that came from it.
tell me, when did your winning smile
begin to look like a smirk?
when did all our lessons start to look like weapons
pointing at my deepest hurt?
i hope she'll be a beautiful fool
who takes my spot next to you
no, i didn't mean that
sorry, i cant see facts through all of my furry
you haven't met the new me yet
i knew when i was loosing finn.
his 'winning smile' that he would flash people began to look like a smirk. i would catch him at events giving girls smirks while he was talking to them.
nothing like the smiles he used to give them just out of politeness.
everything he knew about me he began to use as weapons against me.
he pointed his word at my deepest hurt.
i hope finn finds happiness again. he may of most likely flirted with other girls but i know us breaking up but him hard.
i hope she's a beautiful fool. who takes my spot next to him. i hope he begins to talk to her the way he would talk to me. i hope he strips away her happiness as well.
no, i didn't mean that. i don't want that. i wouldn't want him to do that.
i cant see past all of my furry.
he hasn't met the new me yet.
there'll be happiness after me
but there was happiness because of me
both of these things i believe
there is happiness
in our history
across our great divide
there is a glorious sunlight
dappled with flickers of light
like the dress i wore at midnight
leave it all behind
and there is happiness
just like me, finn will find his happiness after me.
but at least i can know that there was happiness because of me.
because there is happiness that lies in our history.
i cant make it go away by making you a villain
i guess it's the price i pay for seven years in heaven
and i pulled your body next to mine every goddamn night now
i get fake niceties
no one teaches you what to do
when a good man hurts you
and you know you hurt him too
for so long after the break up i tried to make myself hate him. make it out like he was the villain.
especially after all the news reports of him kissing random girls at clubs like a month after we broke up.
but i guess that's the price i pay for seven years in heaven with LA's most adored and wanted actor.
it's so funny to me, every night for seven whole years of my life i would pull him closer to me at night.
now people pretend to be super nice and sympathetic when they talk to me and ask me how i am. they couldn't care less.
but it's not going to go away if i just act like everything was his fault. because it wasn't.
something my parents never taught me was what to do when a good, kind, loving man hurts you. and when you know you hurt him too.
i can act out like everything was finns fault but it was mine as well.
we both just ended up hurting each other. we just didn't work anymore.
and that's okay. because in a few years all of this will be a distant memory.
for me, and for finn. we will find happiness with someone else.
and we will leave each other behind. leave it all behind.
sorry this isn't part two to dorothea but i really wanted to get this one finished it's been bugging me for so long 😭
please don't ghost read!!
wc:979
