BETA LANCASTER

PART 7 - WHAT DID I DO WRONG?

HARPER

Cupping a hot black coffee in my hand, I scrunch my eyes up and look out into the far distance to watch my mate swimming in the huge lake that laps at this shoreline, he looks like he's miles out from the water's edge. Taylor's a machine. I'd have drown by now for sure if I'd attempted the same swim.

It's just after seven thirty in the morning and I'm exhausted.  I've not been able to sleep thanks to my wolf feeling anxious and on edge the entire night. My body kept betraying any rational thought I had by breaking into hot and cold sweats as it pined for the wolf sleeping in the next room. The mates mark trying to entice me to creep out of my bed and sneak into his.  

Last night, I would have gone to bed with him if he'd asked me. As hard as it is due to the fact were strangers, I know what my duty is now we're mated. We're pack wolves. Marks simply can't be undone. The bond is sealed. He's mine and I'm his. We can't stay in separate rooms forever, but I must admit I was relieved when he said I could sleep elsewhere just for now.

As soon as the first rays of light started to peak through my curtain, I've been desperate to leave my room and venture out and away from the cabin.  However, as it appears my mate is an early riser, I opted for pretending to sleep rather than come out for breakfast when he lightly tapped on my door and waited for him to leave before I finally left my room. 

Because I'm a coward.

Truth be told, I'm more than that. I'm walking mess.

To have these abrupt and all-consuming feelings for the Beta when I've been head over heels in love with another wolf for what seems like my entire life has well and truly knocked me. Since I was a little girl, I have always loved the Gamma's son, Jackson Eastwood. Our families grew up together, he often stayed in my parent's pack house when his dad wasn't around and for a time, he was my best friend. The only problem was... it turns out he never loved me back, his heart always belonged to my sister and that's one bitter fucking pill to taste. I could have bowed out graciously when I saw their attraction to each other, being the better person and stepped back.

But I didn't.

I tried again and again to separate them, fooled myself that the pull they felt to each other would just burn out. It was just a passing thing. That one day, he'd feel it, he'd feel what I felt for him, and he'd love me with the entirety of his heart.

But he didn't.

Over the years, their feelings for each other just intensified whilst I became more hurt that I couldn't do fuck all about it to change his mind. He even had the opportunity to take an Alpha rank by my dad if he took me as a mate.

But he didn't want it. He turned it down. He just wanted her.

To be in love with someone so completely and not be loved back is maddening.

Heart-breaking.

In short, it's fucking soul destroying.

Wolves are supposed to pull towards one another, like magnets. A special bond. You feel it in your belly as soon as you see the one, it's like a butterfly fluttering to a joyful melody.  You can't even stop a smile forming when you're around that person. It's not supposed to be one side or unrequited. It sure as hell isn't supposed to hurt as much as it has.

Sighing, I look down at my phone that's sat on my lap and flick it on. So many missed calls and texts whizz across the screen. So many voice messages I refuse to listen to because there from her.

From Avery.

I want to hate my little sister because of how much he loves her. Blame her for all this. For some points in my childhood, I actually convinced myself that I did...