BETA LANCASTER

PART 26 - THE LANCASTER BALL (PT 1)

TAYLOR

Throwing down my tools in frustration with myself, I push on the new temporary door I've fitted onto my workshop, testing its strength until I can do a total refit before abruptly turning away and striding towards my cabin. I can't face repairing the damage to the cell or even looking at it just yet. I've seen the cracks in the masonry, the dents in the steel, the shredded clothes of Harpers that still have a little blood stain on the top from the cut on her cheek.

I can't believe she ended up having to sleep in fucking there because of me.

I've failed her as a mate.

I promised her I'd never hurt her, not her. Not-fucking-her and I broke my promise. I let Jenson get in my head... but the bottom line is... it's no one's fault but my own. I shouldn't have lost control like that.

Never with her.

I sit down on the top step of my porch, running a hand through my hair then over my face before I look out towards the lake and take a deep breath.

In and out. In and out.

I need to stay calm. I need to keep focused.

In just a few hours time the packhouse's doors will be thrown open to begin this fucking Ball and I can't lose my shit. Not tonight. Balls and Galas are literally one of the worst environments for a category three to be in. Large crowds of usually high-ranking pricks throwing around their auras, loud music that can trigger my wolf and surplus of booze to tempt me. In other words, it's everything I avoid.

But not tonight.

Tonight, I get to see my mate for the first time in days and I can't mess this shit up. Kit has been giving me regular updates on how she's been doing since the Deltas descended onto the packhouse and I couldn't be prouder of her. Despite everything that's happened she's been working the crowds like a pro and has quickly become a favourite to most from all accounts.

Sighing, I drop my head into my hands and close my eyes then reach out to my wolf. I never do this, I never try to reason with him, I know he can't be tamed, he's as wild as stormy ocean waves but I also know he fears what I fear.

"Listen buddy, we're gonna lose her if we can't work together here." I whisper as I feel my wolf's agitation before he growls. "I don't know about you... I can't be alone again... I just can't... no matter what happens tonight you can't lose control. I'm begging you because I don't think we'll get another chance with her..."

My wolf is so quiet for a moment before I hear him finally whine in my mind then to my surprise lay his head down on his paws as calmness washes over me. I take a few slower deep breaths before finally opening my eyes and sitting up straight.

"We can do this; I know we can." I whisper to my wolf. "I fucking know we can."

Slowly getting to my feet, I walk into my cabin. I've already cleaned up the broken glass but still need to throw out Harper's new art suppliers away as red wine got all over the new canvas and destroyed my gift to her. Shaking my head, I go straight to my bedroom. Opening my cupboard door, I see that my suit bag is already hanging up ready for me, but instead of taking it out I sit on the edge of the bed and look at it as my hands start to shake. At times like this, this is when I'd usually call my brother Jenson over. This is what he's always been good at, calming me when I'm struggling. Making jokes or telling dumb shit stories to make me relax. He was always there for me... how the fuck am I going to get through this if I see him tonight. Betrayal starts to eat away at me and already I feel my wolf's anger rising.

And there goes all my calmness as I drop my head back into my hands as tears sting at my eyes.

"Fuck." I whisper.