Completion of the Whisper

Chapter Five.

"You look like shit."
Syrion was standing with his back to me, and I retorted "Dork. You didn't even look at me."

He looked over his shoulder now, his voice much softer "I heard you cry in your sleep, Adri. You've had those nightmares for over three nights in a row now, don't you think you should take some potion to at least get one night of sleep?"

I met his eyes, and he looked just as tired as I knew I did.

But instead of an answer, I just shrugged and said "I think I should go to this feast with Hyrion."

Raising his eyebrow, he put a glass of water in front of me "Did you write Dylana about it? About him? About his offer?"
"No."

"You still haven't answered her, have you?"
"You know exactly, that I haven't", I retorted with an angry tinge in my voice. I was tired, I was sad, and I was angry. At myself, at everything.

And Syrion... knew I had not answered her yet, but he still kept asking.
Truth was... I had started to write various letters. To all of them. I had wanted to write whatever the Whisperers had forbidden me to say. But I wasn't able to bring it into words. Whatever power they had over me was too strong. I simply wasn't able to write anything of it down.

I just couldn't.

I had to keep it to myself.

Hyrion had guessed it, had guessed, that me leaving was a form of payment. But that was far from it all. There was much more.

I had not just lost Nyshard, I had lost every one of them. I would never be able to tell them what happened that day, I would never be able to tell them my reasons to go.

There were a lot of them, actually.

The Whisperers... but also my own conscience.

It will only be a matter of time, until Dylana and the others would stop writing, stop supporting and stop protecting me.

It will only be a matter of time before they came to the conclusion, that I had not just left them, no, that I also had forgotten them. Which was ridiculous.

I would never forget them and what they did for me.

But maybe, it was better this way.

The sword, the stone, the King, Phylon.

"But I will still go with Hyrion to this strange feast. If it's my chance to get near the two Ladies, then I should take it."

The sword, the stone, the King, Phylon.

I had my priorities. "I need to talk with them:"
"I understand, but... damn, I just hoped I wouldn't have to speak with you about this."

"About what?"

Syrion ruffled his hair as he began to look nervous, as he began to slowly walk around the room, casting me weird glances.
"I... in fact I don't doubt that they will talk with you. I know they will – and you can be sure, that they know who you are. I just... I don't think such a feast is the perfect opportunity for this."
"Why? Because so many others are there...?"
"Because in Ralanmar, such feasts and festivities are usually... quite exuberant. Quite... revealing. Nothing like what you are used to from High Ilryn or Wyntern Falls. Ralanmar... is something like the straight opposite of Assdirn Flenn in... damn – in a lot of aspects."

"Revealing...?", I murmured.

"No protocols. No etiquette needed. Hell, last time I was glad that I was able to leave before it escalated."