Completion of the Whisper

Chapter Thirty-Five.

"Dylana's child... will be only your heir if have no children on your own, right?", I asked after a moment.

He nodded.

"But?", I pressed.

"But...", he glanced at me "I'd have to mate for that."

"You could. Someday in the future..."
He tensed visibly and I broke off, biting my lower lip.

He could mate. But not me.

The Whisper... his Whisper said, he would safe my life, the life of a woman who would refrain to be anyone's wife. And his Whisper... was right about it, somehow.

Mating... marrying... it would mean to spend a life together. It would also mean building a family. And this was something I didn't want right now. As much as I was happy for Dylana and Brayhd, this was something I wouldn't want for myself right now.

The Rylbnan blood made me a target for not only the King of Kalash, but also for Phylon. And who knew who else was after the artefact of Gnys? An artefact with powers no one really knew about.

If Nyshard wanted an heir, a child of his own, he couldn't have it with me. He couldn't even consider it. Taking a deep, but shaky breath, I said "You did everything to make sure High Ilryn is cared for. But I am certain, that one day, you will mate and have all of this for yourself, too."

Just not with me.

I wasn't able to say it, but I was certain, he knew.

And he wouldn't say it, either.

If I would ever have children, I wanted them to live in a world where no one would hunt them only for their blood. And while Dylana was Nyshard's successor, a child of his own would change that. She herself had told me so.

But for his child to be legitimate, he would have to mate.

But he could never mate me. When two people mated, there would have to be an exchange of vows, a declaration of love. And he couldn't lie to me about that.

A strange feeling settled in my gut.

I had him for now.

But only for now.

Someday, he would have to mate.

"What are you thinking about?", he asked suddenly.

"Me? Why?"
Nyshard peered into my face, frowning "You look sad."

"Do I?", I shrugged. "I guess I just... thought about the future."
Nyshard reached for my chin and made me look up at him. His expression was careful, his brows drawn together in deep thought.

"I don't have to mate to be happy", he finally said.

Taking a deep breath, I turned away from him. Gathering my thoughts, I stared at Ilyria.
"I don't... think this is a conversation we should have", I finally answered.

"Why?"
I shook my head "Because we don't know what the future will hold in store for both of us. But I... I want you to have this, too. A mate. A child. An heir."
"Adri..."
"Be honest. Is this something you want?"

I glanced at him. His expression had turned to stone. Now, he was the one who was staring at the White City. In silence.
He couldn't say 'No', and I had not expected him to.

One day, sooner or later, Nyshard would mate, and hopefully, someone he loved.

My heart was heavy, but I knew I had to hold on to what I had right now. I loved him, and I loved him enough to let go of him when that day came. Maybe... it was a happy coincidence he'd never declared his love for me with those three little words. I'd never hear them. And I wasn't quite sure why I put so much weight on them, but somehow the thought of him not loving me made things easier. Not both of us would have to walk away with a broken heart.