Completion of the Whisper

Chapter Forty-Seven.

My hands gripped the railing tighter as I stared at the Isle of Gnys.

Just a few days ago, it had all just been thoughts, but now, it was the truth. It was reality. This Island was where my path had led me to, this Island was my heirloom, my destiny and my silent tomb of loneliness.

I was sick of it. A huge part of me was so sick of it.

What Nyshard had done hurt me despite the knowledge, that I'd grown used to the thought over the past days, heck, even over the past weeks.

He wasn't mine.
And he had cut ties with me.

Probably, he really had thought that he wouldn't survive his battle with the King and that's why he had said all those things.

Yes, probably, I was his heart. I had his heart. But I didn't have his love.

I used to have his protection, but even that part of him would be gone in a few days.

I was all on my own again, something, I'd come to dread. I wasn't used to it anymore, and while I knew I didn't want to get used to it, I knew I had to.

Myn jas sruso. Dyn jas myn biunla. Maybe in another life. It's alright.

If he would have died, I would have lost him in the knowledge that he'd still had wanted me in his life.

Now, he was alive but it felt as if he was withdrawing.

Completely.

I knew he was there somewhere on the ship, but it was not him who was standing by my side, it was Caaln.

Neither of them had asked what had happen between Nyshard and myself, and in the face of so many other, important things, it felt almost insignificant.

We've had a few weeks together. About half a year, from spring until autumn. It had been nothing in comparison to what Brya and Rayila had, to what Dyl and Brayhd had. And nothing to what Styslad had had with his mate.

Nyshard's aura was a presence I wasn't able to ignore and no matter how hurt I now was, I knew when I wouldn't feel it anymore in due a few days' time, it would be worse.

At least, it was only me who was hurt.

Nyshard... he surely was sorry about how things worked out. He was a good man, there was just no way he could not be sorry. But as always, he had himself under control, and whenever I had the courage to glance at him, his mask of calm and indifferentness had just hardened again. If someone would have asked me days ago, if I felt I was able to make sense of him, I would have said: yes.

But now... it felt as if there was a huge gash in between us that no bridge could ever cross again.

I'd not just lost a lover.

I'd also lost a friend.

Or, I would.

"This is Lin Bura", Caaln pointed forwards.

Rayila's and Brya's ship was huge and we were accompanied by a few other ships of their fleet as we sailed from the shores of Mirdt where we had spent the night to the bay in which the capital of the Isle of Gnys was embedded in the mountain.

Or at least, I'd been told that this was the case – I still wasn't able to make out the details of the city ahead of us.

Taking a deep breath, I crossed my arms in front of my chest and tried not to shiver.

Ever since Nyshard and I had spoken the evening before I felt cold. I felt, as if he'd been my warmth, my sun, and with him ending things I would stay cold forever. Of course, this was true nonsense and I was probably just catching a cold because of the rainy weather of late autumn – maybe still Phylon's doing – or because of the chilly breeze I'd been standing in all morning.