Completion of the Whisper

Chapter Forty-Four.

Darkness and water. And in the middle of it grey eyes, staring down on me, but someone pushed him away, someone else, and for a moment I had hope, but then there was this laughter again. And a coldness, a coldness I'd never experienced before. 'I've been searching for you, myn pyk rian. You're going to grant me the Isle, you're going to give me what your father refused, you...' and a burning pain shot through my head, red filled my vision and- Arms caught me, embraced me, pulled me against a rock. An unmoving, warm rock.

My back throbbed in pain as I was smashed against something hard. For a moment, I broke through the surface and frantically, I inhaled a sharp breath of air and tried to take in my surroundings – but only a moment later, I cried out as my side hit something. A rock, maybe. Probably, even a tree.

Had I thought I'd pushed my powers to their limits before, I now pushed them past their limits. My gear clung to my body, wet and cold and heavy. But I couldn't drown, not here, not now. I wouldn't succumb to this darkness around and inside of me. No matter how much seemed to weight me down. All this responsibility. Those deaths.

I tried to swim, the Drakaae still in my left, my right arm hanging almost helplessly by my side, the pain numbed out by the sheer coldness of the water.

Warm wind played with the short hairs in my neck, warm wind gently brushed against the tears strained skin of my cheeks.

Blinking, I looked around. There was smoke, so much smoke, that it burned in my eyes and I had to fight not to rub them. I couldn't... because my hands were dirty, soiled with the dirt from the ground and the blood from my friends. Or my enemies. I didn't know. All I knew, was that the smoke surrounding me would swallow me whole. Like the water... yes, exactly like the water. I stumbled over roots, or arms and legs, bodies. Maybe. Maybe not. I didn't dare to look at the ground, I just walked, step by step, not looking down, not looking to my right or my left, no, just straight ahead. Always straight ahead. Screams filled my mind and screams left my mouth when the sheer noise of it became unbearable. It was so loud. The suffering... the suffering and pain. I screamed. And it helped, the screaming in my head got less and less, until there was only a soft whimper left. And that was me. I had failed. I didn't know how, I didn't know why, but I had failed. The luck had never been on my side, no, never. Even trying, even hoping for a better outcome had been in vain. But I had tried, nonetheless. I had tried and failed. I subconsciously held up my hands and only realised then, that I held the knives in my hands.

My numb fingers were closed tightly around the hilt of the Drakaae Rya Ridyel. I couldn't lose the sword. I tried to hold it as close to my body as possible, knowing it wouldn't cut me, while I was helpless against the force of the water. And all went black again.

But there was no adrina yele, there was no light, there was only darkness. Only nos demra. All this darkness. All this hopelessness.

All this... The screams in my head got louder once more, and it felt like I saw a flicker inside of my inner eye.

A flicker, a small glimpse of what had happened. Of them, standing there, swords raised and... I stumbled, tried my best not to fall, my knives still in my hands, my only form of protection... from what? Them? From my... friends? My enemies? From myself? Did I... I looked at my hands again, halted for the first time, and saw, that there was no mark on my wrist anymore.

It was gone. All gone... gone... gone. The one thing that had bound me to them, the one and only visible thing that proofed to me what had happened... that was proof of the friendship and kindness I had been shown, but also... also what? I didn't remember. And maybe, that was a blessing. Not knowing can be a blessing. Knowledge can be dangerous. But the mark... it was gone. I suddenly felt alone. So... alone. A sob left my rough throat as I realised, that my freedom... even though it had been stolen from me, even though I had stived for it... it now made me feel utterly alone. Not even Caaln could find me. And not even... Nyshard. None of them.