Completion of the Whisper

Chapter One.

"My dear, could I show you more of our wares? We have some very exquisite types of fabric just over there...", the merchant was so damn friendly, I almost wanted to grab a bottle of wine from the market stand nearby and spill it over his damn, overly expensive fabric.

"I'm afraid I don't have the time right now, but thank you very much", my tone was polite, I knew it was, but I was barely able to hold myself back to not lash out at the merchant.

He was just too polite.

All of them were.

"Could I offer you something else, maybe some jewellery which would fit to your gown perfectly?"

Politely, I shook my head "I'm afraid I'm running late. But I will come back another time. Thank you for your time and have a nice day."

I put on my sweetest smile, and the merchant stared at me for a moment, then he tipped his index against his temple, and tilted his head to the side, his eyes trailing down my body once more.

Moron.

With slow but steady steps I continued my way across the plaza. The sun was burning, and for once in my life, I was actually glad to wear a dress. If Dylana would see me in that gown, she would be thrilled.

But she wouldn't get to see me.

Not after I...

Stop thinking, Adriyele.

But no, she wouldn't get to see me like this.

And she was too busy to come here, anyways.

I reached the end of the plaza and glanced at my favourite, but also my most hated spot. I hated it just as much as I liked it, but somehow, it just always drew me back here.

"Oh hello there, do you like to take your usual seat?"

Nodding, I thanked the waiter and sat down next to the balustrade. My usual glass of wine was already standing there, the only thing missing was the smigweed pipe. But I couldn't bear it. I couldn't bear the smell of the weed anymore, because it reminded me of past days in Ilyria. Of happier days. Of days with people I loved, of days at a place that had become a home for me.

But also, a place, that I had left, a place, that I had left without looking back and without the intention of going back there.

I tried not to look at my wrist as I took a sip of my wine. Usually, I tried to wear longer clothes, but lately, it was just too warm.

Too damn hot.
Longingly, I glanced over the balustrade, my eyes traveling along the harbour wall, taking in the small fisher boats and the much bigger white ships of the fleet, that were docked there.

The sea was unsteady, and deep blue.

It was so blue that it hurt, but yet, I kept coming back here. As if I just wanted to hurt myself with my memories.

With what had been.

With what could have been.

With all the wishes and hopes I had secretly held. With everything, I had to bury.

Everything, and everyone.

My heart was heavy as I stared at the blue colour of the sea. I couldn't help myself as my eyes got a bit wet. I still wasn't over it.

I doubted, that I would ever get over it.

But still, I kept coming back here. Again and again, every day.

There was no real beach close by, but there was the sea. And somehow, it made me feel close to him, even though it still hurt so damn much.

It hurt, because I would never be that close to him anymore. That was a fact.