Staying Alive//TWDFanFic

Forty Four

My stomach drops as I glance over the side of the building, Daryl grabbed my elbow to pull me back a bit as I got a little light headed, Maggie tried not to laugh at my stupidity as we turned around and headed for the opening in the roof. I was nervous about dropping down from the rope but I hooked myself up anyway, I was about to hop down when Daryl put both hands on my hips to stop me as he leaned down and kissed me softly, "I love you." He whispered as pulled away to look me over, I nodded before hopping down and bracing myself for hitting the ground below. As I stood up slowly once my feet hit the ground, I looked around the large room and saw the floor was littered with live walkers. My eyes widened as I unhooked myself beside Maggie quietly, she looked back at me wide-eyed as well, before nodding for me to follow Magna and Kelly over to the door on the opposite side of the walker infested room. I followed her footsteps slowly behind her as Magna and Kelly got the door open. The quick loud sound of the lock opening made us all pause before looking around the room in fear, a few of the walkers wiggled a bit and groaned but none of them got up so we continued through the door.

We slowly made our way down a long, silent, dark hallway. We see a room at the end, Maggie and I wait outside while Kelly and Magna go inside to grab what supplies they can fit into their sacks. I can feel myself starting to get nervous but almost like it's someone else's body because usually things like this don't make me nervous or sick to my stomach but watching Kelly and Magna take out the walkers lying on the floor, made me sick. I have no idea why but I had to look away right before they plunged their knives through the skulls. I glanced at Carol and she looked concerned but just motioned for me to stay silent, I was almost annoyed by the fact she thought she needed to tell me to stay quiet like I wanted to be killed by walkers of all things after all I've been through. I walked off down the hallway, away from everyone else. I made my way into what looked like the barracks, I sighed as I bent down to pick up a framed photo of a black family. The man, who I assumed was the father, looked just like Tyreese which made me smile. I hadn't thought about him in a long time, a shame he died the way he did, he deserved a better way to go out than he did. The woman looked happy as she held their baby daughter, my smile dropped immediately when I looked at her, Beth. Beth is the only thought I can not stand to think, I avoid anything that reminds me of her like a fucking plague, I don't know what to do with the emotions that I feel when I'm reminded of her. It's all still so fresh, I don't know how Daryl deals with it and I don't want to bring it up with him because he seems to worry more about me than he does himself and I don't want anyone worrying about me anymore. A part of me wishes I would've just stayed away from Daryl and just eventually disappeared from that other group and go down to Florida to die on the beach or something. I really don't know how much longer I can go with all this hurt inside of me all the time. I sighed as I put the frame back on the floor and stood up, Negan's face flashed through my mind and in that instant the only thing I wanted was to run to him and let it all out but I know I can't do that, its not fair to Daryl for me to run off to another man like that, especially when I know he's going through the same shit mentally as I am right now, he just hides it better than I do. Carol steps into the room, "Jojo, come on." She whispered, I nodded and followed her back out into the hallway.

We went back to the room we entered from and started sending up the supplies we got to Aaron and Daryl. I felt a weird sense of urgency before looking up at Daryl who managed to catch a bag that almost fell from the now ripped rope above us, I watch as something drips down from his arm and the instant it hit the ground, the walkers all reanimated and started coming for us. I steadied my bow and took out as many of them as I could before bumping into Carol, we both turned toward each other before getting back to back and getting them from both sides, I looked up to see Daryl watching us like a hawk after I noticed a few bows hitting the ones beside us that we were stupidly not paying attention to. I notice Carol leaves me for a moment before I hear shooting from behind me, I turn around quickly as Carol tosses me a gun, I look around like an idiot for a moment before noticing some of the walkers have ammo on them, I take them out and grab the ammo before joining her in taking them out the loud way. After a minute or two, Maggie grabs my arm and pulls me so hard toward the ropes that my gun falls from my hand, I try to stop and go back for it, "No time! We have to get out of here, there's too many of them and we don't have enough ammo." She says as she pulls me to the rope and starts hooking me up before doing so herself beside me, I felt a little irritated that she felt the need to that like I was some kind of child. Once we got to the roof, I shoved her back once we were unhooked, "What the fuck is your problem? I can handle myself. Don't ever man handle me like that again." She looked shocked as she brushed off the shove, "Look, I know you haven't exactly been here mentally since you've been back, I was just trying to help." I scoffed, "Well, fucking don't. I can take care of myself." Carol finally comes back up and hands Daryl his knives before handing her bag to Aaron and walking off. I glanced at Daryl, who was already looking at me, before walking off behind her.