Big, Little and Tiny Sef <3

Worry.

CW: mentions of abuse

Youssef's POV:

I'd managed to get him asleep at about eight o'clock. He was impossibly clingy. I suppose that's the point of age regression though, to win back a childhood he was robbed of. It sounded as if his mother had always been in and out of hospitals and his father was just interested in himself. Maybe Yusuf needed to have someone to hold him and baby him whenever he's in that headspace? I'll have to learn more about baby-space, that seems to be where he regresses to most of the time.

"Is he asleep?" Nathan asked as I sat down.

"Yeah. I'm worried about him."

"Why?" He questioned with more care in his tone now.

"He wouldn't let go of me. Something might be wrong."

"He needs someone to be there for him, and you're doing that. That's all you can do really."

"I want everything to be okay for him." I sighed, knowing I couldn't change the past.

"Life dealt him some pretty shitty cards with no reason as to why. But now, he's got us. We can try and make everything okay for him now."

"I love that kid too much."

"You can never love anything too much." Nathan giggled as he recited my own words back to me from a few months ago.

"Hold me." I demanded softly, my head falling on his chest.

"You're doing a great job. He looks really happy whenever he's with you." Nathan spoke as he wrapped his arms round me and kissed my head.

"He's too cute for this world. All sweet and babbling to his little bear, I can't even."

Nathan just smiled as I went on a rant about how Yusuf is too sweet to have endured anything half as bad as he has.

"He has a good family. Just a shit dad."

"He deserves a fully good family."

"He's got his siblings, and his mother will always love him. He knows that. He's got us too, he knows we're always going to be there for him."
"You don't have to worry about anything."

"I know. Thanks."

I heard something walking round upstairs and I knew I had to go check on him.

"Hey bug- oh...oh honey, what's wrong?"

He shook his head.

"You can tell me."

"I can't."

"Yes you can, I want to help you."

"My back hurts." He sobbed, his breathing short and gaspy.

"Oh, okay kiddo. We can sort that out, when does it hurt? All the time?"

"When I lie down."

"Maybe you've pulled something? Can I have a look?"

He eventually gave in and took his shirt off. What I saw made me want to be sick. His back was covered in blood and massive cuts and scars.

"Yusuf...this is bad."

"It hurts."

"It's bleeding...fuck- okay, I need to clean it."

He let me clean him up a little before I put plasters on the cuts. They looked like wounds from a belt, and that scared me.

"Did...was it your dad?"

He nodded a few seconds later, his head falling on my shoulder.

"Hey, you're okay. You're strong, hm? I'd be screaming if that was all over me."

"I want to scream."

"Go for it, Nathan won't mind."

He didn't, but I felt his teeth slightly sink into my skin.

"I feel better. You taste weird."

"Don't bite me then."

He did it again, just to spite my rules.

"Do you want to try sleeping on your stomach for a few nights? Just til your back has started to heal?"

"Can you stay again? I'm not...or anything-"

"Of course I can. It doesn't matter." I nodded, my hand resting on his head as he looked up at me.

"So...name stealer."

"You want to get into bed?"

"Yeah. You're not actually a name stealer. You say your's slightly different."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Mine is phonetic, Yusuf. Your's is You-Sef."

"That's how my mama told me to say it.

"Difference of opinion I guess."

"Maybe. Why's my name suddenly so important?"

"No idea. Anyways, bed time Youssef."

"Come on kiddo." I smiled as I helped him stand up.

He lay down again, his blanket thrown on the floor.

"You want it?"

He nodded shyly, holding his hand out.

"Here, you want me to stay with you?"

"Please. It feels better, like safer. I know he can't get me but it's still...daunting." Yusuf sighed quietly.

"Good word, but you have nothing to be scared of. I'm here, and Nathan is too."

"Exactly. Can you...just play with my hair or something?"

"Whatever will help you get some sleep."

I let my hand rest on his head again. He started to close his eyes and eventually I heard some soft snores from him. I stayed for another five minutes, just to make sure he was definitely asleep.

"Everything okay?" Nathan asked as he peeked his head round the door.

"No. Look." I responded, pulling the duvet off Yusuf.

"He's hurt?"

"Very hurt, his dad. I got a photo so I'm telling Lina."

"Poor baby."

"I think he's starting to trust me more, rather than just relying on me when he's small."

"You think?"

"He wanted me to sit in here til he fell asleep, just in case."

"Of his dad?"

"He said he knows he can't get him but the feeling of him being free to go anywhere is daunting."

"That's fair enough. I'd be scared."

He moved around a little before settling again.

"Come on, you look tired. We all need an early night." Nathan encouraged as he held my free hand.

"What if he wakes up again?"

"He looks knocked out, I don't think he'll wake up. At least not til morning."

Nathan eventually pulled me away from Yusuf and we got into bed. We usually talk about the day and what we'll eat the next day. Today we just spoke about Yusuf. He's part of us now, really part of us. I'm hoping for a good while, but that sounds bad to say. He has a real family who truly loves him, it's just his dad who won't act as a decent human.

Falling asleep came easy to both of us today. I had babied and held Yusuf for hours today and whilst he's light for a twelve year old, I'm pretty weak for a 28 year old. Just 28 mind you.