Big, Little and Tiny Sef <3

Dear God? Not so dear?

Youssef's POV:

I was on lunch duty today and waved Asher over to me after he had eaten.

"What has he done?"

"Nothing, Yusuf is an angel. I just want you to know that I don't hate you, I can't understand what you were going through but I can try and empathise? It must've been hard losing your mother and I basically brought that up again. I am very sorry if I hurt you in any way. I realise I didn't say that at the time." I spoke as he felt his eyes move from the floor to me.

"I shouldn't have hit you."

"Probably not but I don't care. You made a few bruises but I was fine."

"So you don't hate me? At all?"

"You remind me of my older brother, Ahmed. He'd protect me, from my family mostly. They all knew and it was just a matter of time before I slipped and accidentally told my devout Muslim family I'm gay. I couldn't recognise how much he loved me until I was about seventeen, but Yusuf can and I think it's amazing how much you love him."

"He's just a baby. Momma would always say it, that I had to protect him because she knew Dad would kill him the second she died."

I didn't speak for a few seconds.

"Yusuf is the spitting image of Momma. Same nose, same eyes, same smile. Dad never stopped loving her, he just started to hate her just as much. When she went terminal, he'd sneak in and look at her because he didn't know when it would be the last time. When she died, he blamed everyone. He took it out on Yusuf because he's Momma if she was a Baba. I'd push him off but sometimes it was just best to let Dad do as he pleased." Asher spoke.

"Hitting him? Please say it was just hitting him."

"Nothing like...that. Just a lot of hitting and threats. A few things thrown at his head. The scar on his forehead, you probably can't see it that well but it's because Dad threw a pan at his head. Just...I know he's a little shit, he always has been but you can never ever hold anything when you tell him off. Shout, that's fine, he's immune to that but you have to have your hands free."

"He's been really good lately, but I promise my intention is to make sure he feels safe. I love that kid." I shrugged quietly.

"He loves you too. Thanks for keeping him safe. I know you helped report my dad."

"What?"

"You were the first report. Years ago, when I had parents evening and Dad wouldn't explain Yusuf's chin or the egg on his head. You reported him and they came over and he faked it, but someone else reported him and he wasn't ready." Asher explained as those memories flooded my head. I called them straight after and explained the situation and they promised to check. Obviously they didn't do it well enough.

"I thought I was being paranoid but Barnes told me to do it anyways. He said you and Noah, and Elias had always seemed jumpy."

"Elias was just jumpy because of the weed. He gets paranoid after a few puffs."

I wanted to laugh but that would be inappropriate. Instead I kept a straight face.

"Thank you Mr Farouk. I'm glad you don't hate me. Ignore Yusuf if he says I want to live with you, I just want to live somewhere nice."

"Don't worry, I hope you end up somewhere lovely."

Asher smiled slightly and walked away. Those poor boys, now I have to try. Nathan's kindness has rubbed off on me, I don't like it. Pre-Paris me never would've considered adopting two children just because I felt sorry for them. I do love Nathan though, and Yusuf is my littlest brother. Asher deserves a good home. Good Lord.