WHERE ARE YOU CHARLIE?

NOW - CHAPTER 6

The next few weeks were strange to say the least.

Sam and Cole started eating at our table every day and soon, David, who was now officially Tasha's boyfriend, and a couple of other football players, joined us.

I actually had nightmares of what would happen if Charlie ever heard I was spending so much time with football players.

My friends didn't seem bothered by the change. In fact, we'd never had more fun than we were having at the minute.

Sam, David and his best friend Jonah Mitchells were hilarious together. Cole didn't talk much but he didn't miss anything of what was happening around him. He was an observer, it seemed.

I had trouble keeping my eyes away from him when we were together, and I was worried of the way I was slowly but surely changing.

I was grateful he'd never brought up the famous discussion about the way we felt about each other again, whatever that meant.

Mornings were the worst, though.

Mrs. Fields had to physically stop me from doing my chores several times.

Why didn't I just relish my newly found freedom? You might wonder.

Well, believe it or not, I wanted nothing more than to embrace the comfortable life Mr. and Mrs. Fields were offering me.

But the truth was I was scared.  So much so, that I sometimes had sorts of panic attacks. When they happened, I just had to do the chores. It was like I no longer had control over my body.

Those days were the worst.

Especially when Sam and Cole were there.

A few days ago, Mrs. Fields had found a solution that had been working so far. Whenever I went downstairs before it was really time for me to get up, she'd simply drag me back up and lock me in my room.

At first, she'd attempted to hold me in her hands to comfort me, but I'd jerked away from her instantly. I already had trouble with strangers touching me, but since her outburst, I no longer trusted her.

When they were there, Sam and Cole came in my room with me.

Even though it was nice of them to want to be there for me, I was struggling to control my overflowing emotions. I didn't want to cry or show them how bad and scared I was really feeling.

I wasn't a Sissy!

I still ran but at night, right before going to bed. It wasn't ideal, especially on the days we had practice but it was the best compromise I had found with Mrs. Fields.

She wanted me to stop altogether. How she knew Charlie was the one who'd suggested I run in the first place, I had no idea, but she did, and it had been an ongoing argument between the two of us ever since.

She still thought that I should not feel the need to run right after a two hours long practice at school. I had tried to explain to her how I just loved knowing that for a whole hour I was free. Free to go wherever my feet decided to carry me, free to think about whatever I wanted, free to be myself.

In spite of those few glitches, I felt better than I'd ever felt before and everything I did or said felt real for the first time in my life.

 Now that I was living at Sam's, or as far as my friends were concerned, going out with Cole, I was always seeing them after school.

We all went to the movies at least once every fortnight, I went to three football games wearing Cole's letterman jacket, and Cole even dragged me to what he called a low key party that was in fact a dozen guys who spent the evening drinking beers while playing videogames.