WHERE ARE YOU CHARLIE?

NOW - CHAPTER 12

They are smoking cigars and my eyes sting because of the thick smoke. They are loud but not as loud as the deafening music.

It's party music.

The same kind Tasha plays whenever we party at her house. Not my favorite kind but I've always loved dancing with Dennis and the girls. I always needed three beers – Charlie was adamant I never drank more – it was just enough for me to loosen up, to forget where I was and who was there. Just enough to be okay with closing my eyes and let the music take control over my body. Nothing matters when I dance. It's just like when I go on my morning runs. I feel free.

But right now I don't feel free.

I'm cold.

I check what I'm wearing and panic when I notice the silver stars stuck on each nipple and the tiny matching v-string.

I feel sick.

I must be having some sort of out of body experience because I suddenly watch myself dancing in a suggestive way with my arms in the air

What is going on?!

I can tell they are pleased with the way I dance from the disgusting comments that come out of their mouths.

One of them stands up on wobbly legs.

He must be very close because I can smell a mix of liquor and sweat.

My stomach clenches when his hand grazes my skin.

Who is he?

I can see his brown boots, his baggy jeans, his pudgy belly threatening to burst out of his sweaty shirt, his big hands and dirty nails, his thick neck and big red ears...

I froze when I realize that he has no face.

I can see everything else so clearly. Why can't I see his face?!

Wait! Another faceless man approaches. This one is taller and thinner. His long fingers land on my shoulders and he swings to the music in front of me while his friend dances behind me.

They grind themselves against me and I hate it. I know I hate it! And yet, I don't push them away, I keep dancing with my eyes closed.

My brain is yelling at my body to do something and the weirdest thing happens.

I throw my fists in front of me again and again, I do the same with my right leg.

One kick, two punches. Over and over.

I feel them moving. I'm even out of breath.

But when I look at myself, I'm still sandwiched between them, swaying to the music with closed eyes.

So I shout at them.

"Get off me!" I yell. "Get off me!"

My throat hurts so much from all the shouting.

But when I look at myself, my lips are not even moving.

I'm desperate now. It's like I'm stuck in my own head or something. So I beg, "Please, help me out of this nightmare."

"Zoe!" It was Cole's voice. Relief coursed through me. "Zoe!" He repeated.

"Hmm?" My voice is hoarse.

"Thank God you're awake. You were having a nightmare and it took me forever to wake you up." His deep voice was like a buoy after the dreadful nightmare I'd just experienced.

I took a deep breath to calm my pounding heart.

"I normally manage to wake you up quicker..." He mumbled.