Lifeline

First Day

The first night before school, and I can honestly say this is the most nervous I have ever been for the school year to start. I'm lying in bed tossing and turning; on a typical night, I can fall asleep within minutes, but tonight, I am losing the battle with my anxiety.

I can feel my chest tighten as I try to relax and shut off my mind, but nothing seems to work. I had my first panic attack in the eighth grade during a swim practice; my vision blurred, everything started spinning, and my body felt numb, like I wasn't really there. I can remember crashing into my teammates, and I can remember the pool spinning around me but nothing else. When I got home that evening, I tried to tell Ashton and Grayson I had a panic attack, or so I thought, and I was simply told I was probably just hungry with low blood sugar and should eat some dinner. I never brought my anxiety up again. I still don't know why they denied it so much; I mean, it's so secret. I am an anxious kid, and I always have been.

I am quickly pulled out of my memories by my door creaking open, I roll over to see who it is, and I am met with Ashton.

"Why are you still awake, bug" he sighs as he makes his way towards my bed.

I simply reply by rolling over; I won't tell him it's my anxiety; like I said, we don't talk about it.

I feel the bed dip, and I peer over my shoulder to see Ashton making himself comfortable.

"Tell me what's going on in that pretty little mind of yours."

Still, I give him no reply. Ashton doesn't say another word. Instead, he pulls me close to his body and starts to play with my hair. I finally feel myself getting sleep, and my brain has to go and betray me.

"What if I make no friends" I blurt out

I am going to the high school in our neighborhood, but I didn't go to the middle school with all these kids, most I remember from elementary school, but I wouldn't call us friends; heck, I don't even know if they remember me.

"Why would you think that bug," Ashton says in a sweet, calming voice, his hand still playing with my hair.

I shrug my shoulders against him, not knowing what to say. There isn't really anything I can say without getting into my anxiety.

"Aspen, everyone will love you, and you will have no problem making friends; I'm sure there will be other kids coming from other middle schools, too, so you won't be the only one in your situation."

A small part of me believes Ashton but so much of my anxious brain remains. I don't mutter another word, and neither does he, but instead, I fall asleep trying to figure out a solution to my friend's problem while Aston plays with my hair.

—----

I wake up to my stupid alarm the next morning; I am not upset to be up. I am a morning person, after all, but I am upset to face this whole school situation today. After a quick shower and no less than seven outfit changes, I finally head downstairs. I don't really eat breakfast on the weekdays, much to Grayson's disappointment. I am the only kid awake since it's freshman orientation day. The twins don't have to go to school.

"Ready, bug," Ashton asks, walking down the stairs behind me.

I shrug my shoulders in reply and head towards the car; before I know it, we are at the school, and I am still not ready to face the day.

I walk into all the freshmen in the cafeteria, sitting at tables according to homeroom. When I find the table where I am supposed to be, I sit down next to the only other girl who is sitting alone. I work up the courage and turn to her.

"Hi, I'm Aspen," I say, hoping she won't laugh at me.

"Kaya," she responds simply.

Since she says something else, I look back down at my phone, hoping to appear busy. We are soon quickly approached by our homeroom teacher, who informations us we have a quick information assembly, then we will have time to find where our classes are located, and then we will spend the rest of the morning playing games to get to know each other. Lots of groans can be heard at this.

We make our way toward the gym, and wordless Kaya follows me; I don't mind, though, because it feels like a sign of friendship. It continues in a positive direction as we spend the whole morning paired up for games, and just as I am about to walk out to the front of the school to see which one of my brothers is here to pick me up, Kaya stops me.

"Give me your phone so I can put my number in."

I hand it over smile on my face

"I'll text you later," and with that, she is gone.

I walk out the doors only to friends Grayson's car and my mood lifts even more; if I am forced to spend the afternoon with one of my brothers at their place of employment, I like it to be him.

On the way to his office, I recount my morning to Grayson, which all and all has been pretty boring, but he seems excited for me that I made a friend too.

I spent the rest of the afternoon texting with Kaya as I lay on the couch in Grayson's office.

I learn so much about her, and she is a little rebellious, which, although it isn't my style, it may be just what I need. I mean, the twins are always telling me I am too uptight anyway.

When we finally get some for dinner, everyone is already at the table. I sit down, still looking at my phone. A text from Kaya has just come through; she wants to know if I can hang out this weekend.

"ASPEN" I hear Ashton snap at me.

"You know the rules," he says, glaring at the phone in my hand; I mutter a quick apology and put it under my leg.

"As I was saying, you will ride to school with the boys in the morning, and then one of us will pick you up since they have practiced."

I groan in response.

"Why do I have to hang out with you old guys at work anyway."

"Because you know the rules, you won't be left home alone" It's true they didn't let Ezra stay alone until after he graduated, and they still don't let the twins and I stay alone; it's bullshit if you ask me.

"I do not want to take her to school; rumor has it she could only make one friend today, she's a total freak, and it's embarrassing," Westin takes his turn complaining to Ashton.

Usually, I have sassy comebacks, but he managed to strike my weakest point with the comment, and it's taking everything in me not to cry instead.

"Westin David," Grayson snaps

"If you like your car, you will drive your sister to school. Now apologize"

He mutters a half-ass apology I barely hear as I clear my plate, not bothering to ask if I can be done. I make my way to my room and spend the rest of the evening texting my new friend. I have a feeling she will be exactly what I need. 

A/n 

There are already a few easter eggs in here for the upcoming drama

Anyway, vote, like and comment