Lifeline

Alone

School became miserable, I had officially been isolated, and on the average day, I didn't talk to a single soul. With Ashotn's two guard dogs, the twins watching my every move during school hours there was no way for me to even try and have a secret friendship with Kaya and Lily. When they weren't watching me, I was constantly in one of my older brothers site. Even my phone was being strictly monitored.

It felt way too late in the year to make new friends; everyone had already formed their groups, so I began spending lunch in the library. Kaya was not taking this whole thing well, and let's just say the dirty looks in the hall were the nicest interactions we now had.

I did mind the library; while it wasn't my first choice, at least it was quiet, and I could have 30 minutes to myself every day; well, almost. The twins still checked up on me to make her I wasn't having secret meetings with my now ex-friends. I wasn't allowed to wat in there but it didn't matter, I had almost completely lost my appetite.

I slammed the car door to Ashton's car hard when he parked in the driveway. While I was purposefully giving my brothers a silent treatment I just didn't have much to say to them anymore.

Dinner was already on the table when we got home, and I took my usual place, staring down at the plate of food. I wasn't hungry. I was pushing my potatoes around when someone calling my name snapped me out of my pity party.

"So Aspen, I here swimming tryouts are coming up, are you excited?" Of course it was Grayson trying to keep the peace.

I shrugged my shoulders honestly swimming felt more like something I had to do than something I wanted to.

"Aspen Elizabeth, just because you are mad at me doesn't mean you need to take it out of everyone else. Now sit up straight, finish your dinner, and give Gray a proper answer." Ashton commanded me, but what I knew was all he did was command me.

I rolled my eyes, not even trying to hide it, and looked at Gray. "I guess," I mumbled

Ashton threw up his hands and let out an exasperated sigh. I put a spoon full of potatoes in my mouth; gosh, I felt sick.

10:00 pm rolled around, and like clockwork, Ashton was in my room. I was already in bed, just staring at the wall; I didn't feel like doing anything.

I felt Ash lay down next to me, I know he felt bad, but that wasn't enough for me to forgive him. Not this time.

"You know you may meet some new girls on the swim team and make some new friends; it could be really fun."

"I guess" I muttered out the same response I gave to Grayson earlier.

"Aspen, I know you're angry, and I understand this is hard, but we are trying to get you back to your happy self, and instead of the attitude, you have done a complete 180 and just shut down."

I felt the anger boiling up inside, and I sat straight up, looking at my brother in pure rage.

"Well, sorry, I can't be the perfect little girl you were hoping for."

Ashton ran his hand down his face; he looked exhausted.

"Bug, I am not asking you to be perfect; I am asking you to try or to at least let me in so I can help you. Tell me what I can do."

"Give me my friends back."

"Asp, you know I can't allow that."

"Just leave Ashton." I gritted out once again, laying down with my back to him. I felt him lean over and kiss the top of my head, and then my bed shifted, my light was turned off, and my door closed. No matter what, he hadn't missed a single night of tucking me in since our fight.

I stood on the side of the pool, waiting for tryouts to start. I wasn't worried; while I was exactly amazing, I wasn't bad. I started swimming when I was six, and my best stroke was not most people's: Butterfly. I stretched my shoulders out. I injured them last year, and they have never been the same; swimming can hurt a lot, but as I said, it was unofficially expected of me.

I dove in, the cold water running over my body, shocking my system awake. It felt good in a strange way to be back in the pull. Tryouts were going fine, we were about halfway through, and my shoulder was killing me. Grayson and his stupid paranoia wouldn't let me carry my own ibuprofen, so there really wasn't anything I could do.

I could hear the coach talking, but I couldn't focus, not when the hairs on the back of my neck stood straight up. I slightly turned my head, trying not to make it too obvious that I wasn't paying attention.

There it was, or should I say there he was. Jack. Sitting on the bleachers, staring into my soul. I heard the coach's whistle, and honestly, I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing when I pushed off that wall.

The second half of tryouts wasn't nearly as good, but I couldn't focus, not with Jack watching my every move. As I pulled myself out of the pool, his eyes continued to track me. When i finally rached my bag. I shoved in my cap and goggles and ripped out my towel; wrapping it around me, I threw my bag over on my shoulder, not even bothering with my shoes; I just wanted to get out of there. As I pushed open the doors, I couldn't help by glance behind me, but he hadn't followed me out.

Grayson was there waiting to pick me up. I throw up the door, only to be met with his harsh glare.

"Where are your shoes or your sweatshirt, Aspen? You are going to get sick?" He harshly exclaimed. I just shrugged I couldn't tell him the reason and I was never a great liar.

"Little girl, are you even listening to me right now?" he grabbed my chin, forcing me to look away from the rec center doors where I was trying to watch if Jack would come out.

"Whatever, Grayson."

His eyes grew dark, something I rarely saw from him, he usually hard a lot of patience especially for me.

"This ends now," he spoke darkly

"I know you are upset, and that is okay, but you are going to stop taking it out on everyone around you. Find some respect, young lady, before a punishment forces you to find it."

With that, he put the car in gear and drove home.

I was so upset, which some might say was good because at least I was feeling something other than numb. When we got in the house, I marched straight past the dinner table.

"Just wear do you think you are going?" Ashton exclaimed

I ignored him marching right to my room, It's not like I was hungry anyway. I could hear Grayson in the background saying to let it go, and that he would talk to Ashotn later.

When Ashton came up that night I pretended to be asleep, I didn't want to have to force my way through another one of his pleading speeches. When I heard my door close I slowly counted to 60. Knowing the twins would also be forced to be in thier beds at this time since it was a school night I ever so quietly made my way to the top of the stairs and sat down. No way were they going to talk about me behind my back.

"She can't keep going like this, she needs help, hell I am going to need help if she keeps it up." Was agin I was a burden to Ashton he could be living a life if it weren't for me.

"I thought swimming would help, get some of the angry out, boost her dopamine."

"She came storming out of the pool today; I don't think she spent even a minute after the tryout trying to talk with the other girls."

"She isn't eating, the twins told me she hasn't eaten her lunch in two weeks, and she barley touches dinner, she is never down her early enough for breakfast."

I cringed at that; I didn't know I was being so obvious.

"Maybe she should see a therapist."

"Like she would ever go for that." I mean, Ezra wasn't wrong; no way was I planning to talk with a stranger.

"She is depressed, I feel like she is gone and it's jsut this shell of her left, I don't know what to do."

It was rare I heard Ashton helpless but my oldest brother sounded so defeated right now. I almost felt bad enough to try and snap out of it.