Lifeline

A Talk

The car ride to Ashton's office was slow, and when we got there, we didn't go in; instead, he came out. He wasn't dressed in his uniform. Instead, he looked done for the day. I glanced at the clock once just to confirm the time. Yep, 11:00 am. How could he be done already?

Ezra had been driving Ashton's car, so a small part of me wondered how he got to work, but then I remembered not to care. He didn't care about me. Why should I care about him?

The car door swung open. I was already in the back seat. I had refused to sit by Ezra on the way here. Every time I took one step towards forgiving my brothers, the second I was left alone, I remembered how angry I was, and we went two steps backward.

We began driving again, and 15 minutes later, we had pulled into Gray's office.

A great brotherly ambush. All we needed were the twins.

"Hey, watch those eyes, young lady."

I hadn't even realized the sass in my head was making an appearance on my face, but leave it to Ashton to make sure nothing went unnoticed.

When we pulled into the parking lot, both my older brothers got out to exchange a few words with Gray; when they were finally done, Ashton and Grayson came back my way while Ezra walked to Gray's car.

What the hell was going on? This day was getting super weird, and it hadn't even started yet.

I refused to look at either brother in the car. They had both betrayed me, while I may have forgiven Grayson last night, I felt ganged up on right now. He had taken the enemy's side.

Fine, he wanted to play that way, well, so could I.

We arrived at a coffee shop near Grayson's work. When the car was parked, and they both got out, I just sat there dumbfounded. They had pulled me out of school to go to a coffee shop.

No way, it was a trap, and I would not be the willing victim who walked straight into it.

No suprise my car door opened a second later, m brothers on either side. Yep, I was left with no choice. Now there's a shock for you.

"Here is how this is gonna go, Aspen; you will get out of the car, you will walk into the coffee shop, and we are going to have an adult conversation."

This time I made sure I rolled my eyes directly at him, I didn't want him to miss it. His eyes darkened, but I wasn't backing down. He wronged me.

"Okay you two this isn't going to go like this, Ashton go get us a table we will be in a minute." Grayson pushed my normally level-headed brother away.

"You know it is in moments like these where I see so many similarities between you, you are both so stubborn, but you also love so strong. I am not here to take sides, but I am here so we can all figure out a solution before you two create something that can't be reversed. Aspen, you want to be treated like an adult. Now is your chance to prove it."

Grayson reached out to me. I let out a deep breath, and we went in. We found Ash already at this table with our favorite drinks. I inched my seat closer to Grayson, which didn't go unnoticed by either brother. One gave me an unimpressed look, the other a sad one.

"I'm sorry, Aspen, for a lot of things, and I can't wrap it all into one apology. However I am mainly sorry that I left you to go on that trip, it wasn't okay in many different aspects. I am supposed to be your stability, and I haven't been lately. For that, I am so so sorry, bug."

He was right. He hadn't been my stability lately, and while he may think It has just been since the start of this school year for me, it went deeper than that. I could forgive him without him knowing the truth and I still didn't feel like I could tell him the truth.

"You know I named you. That's why we have the same initials AEM. I was 18 at the time, and when I held you in my arms to name you, I knew that, yes, you were my little sister, but more than that, you were 100% mine, Aspen. The twins and even Ezra I will always look at as my children first, but you, I have had since day 1."

I sat there surprised, unable to speak. I didn't know Ash had named me, but neither parent had ever been in the picture, so I wasn't surprised at that part, but I didn't know how much more he saw me as than a sister.

"I thought I was something you were forced to give up life to raise." I clipped back

It came out sassy, and I wanted it to hurt him like he hurt me. Ashton didn't scold me, though. Grayson looked liked he wanted to, but Ashton just sighed.

"I owe you an apology for that, too. There was no excuse for me to ever day that bug. You are the greatest joy of my life, and you and your brothers are the best thing I have ever done with it. I am proud every day of you Aspen. I could make the decision I made a thousand times over again in a heartbeat."

I was crying with that. I knew I was, and there was no hiding it. Both my brothers took a hand, wiping tears from my cheeks. I had done too much crying in coffee shops lately.

"Aspen, we need to figure out how we are gonna go forward because this is not the relationship I want with you. I want to be your favorite again."

He got a shove from Grayson on that, and I knew if we had been having a less serious conversion, that would have broken out into she likes me better fight.

I sighed. He was right, but I was scared, and I didn't know what to say other than that.

"I'm scared."

"Of what bug? Of getting in trouble? Of me?"

"No, not you."

I could tell Ashton was frazzled, and I glanced at Grayson for help.

"Oh no, don't look at me. I'm just here to make sure you two don't burn the place down."

Great, I thought, now there really was no way out of it.

"I'm scared to talk to you." The hurt that flashed in Ash's eyes was unbearable, and I had to look away.

"When?" His voice cracked. "When did you start feeling scared?" he questioned

"Last year," it barely came out above a whisper, and The breaking in Ashton's eyes made me full on start to cry.

Grayson pulled me into his lap, turning his chair so I could still face my oldest brother but rubbing my back for support. I didn't even care that I looked like a baby right now. The comfort felt so good.

"Why?" Ash questioned, and I just shrugged my shoulders; that was too hard to answer.

"Please," he begged. I had never heard my brother beg anyone; he was usually powerful and commanding, so it broke me, and I began to spill everything.

I spilled about the panic attacks and how I tried one time to tell them, and they didn't believe me. I spilled about not having friends and then finding Kaya and Lily. I spilled about not always liking my friends but being scared of being alone. I spilled about not being able to focus in school and how hard English really was. I spilled about the fear of fitting in and never feeling good enough. I spilled feeling until I was crying so hard my words weren't even words anymore.

My brother sat there; Grayson's hand on my back had gone still, and no one said a word until I heard a whisper from one of them.

"I think it's time to go home."