The Supernova Effect

Chapter 23

Nova
If I was to say I was completely unhappy aloud no one would understand. I know I have things to be happy about but I'm not whole heartedly happy. The moments when it's just me and my thoughts my mind seemly never ending it felt tormenting.

I'm so much better off than I was before after the kidnapping but the pain never really goes away the trauma lingers until you meet your end.

I wasn't sad or scared I was just traumatized some nights I could sleep soundly without one thought of the past and sometimes I just couldn't.

Even after the bruises fade.

Even after the nightmares become less frequent.

Even after everyone around you starts saying things like you seem so much happier now.

And I was happier.

At least happier than I used to be.

But happiness didn't erase what happened to me.

It just taught me how to carry it differently.

Some nights I slept peacefully beside Daisuke without a single bad thought crossing my mind.

Other nights—

My brain trapped me in the past until I woke up gasping for air.

Tonight was one of those nights.

I sat up slowly in Daisuke's bed, my chest still tight from the nightmare that dragged me awake.

The room was dark except for the faint city lights slipping through the curtains.

For a second I reached beside me instinctively.

Empty.

Then I remembered him whispering earlier that he'd "be back."

A faint smell drifted through the cracked window nearby.

Smoke.

Weed.

Part of me wanted to pretend I didn't know what he was doing out there.

But another part of me couldn't stop worrying.

At first, after the trial, I understood it.

The stress.

The fear.

The withdrawals.

Everything he'd gone through.

But now it felt different. Ever since I found out he'd been buying pills from Amir, little things started standing out more. The way he disappeared whenever things became overwhelming. The way his moods shifted. The way he looked restless even when he was trying to seem calm.

Then a few days ago, I found a pack of Xanax pills and acid hidden in his apartment.

I didn't say anything, but whatever he was taking seemed stronger. More dangerous.

And worst of all, it looked like he needed it to breathe.

That terrified me more than I wanted to admit aloud.

Because I knew addiction when I saw it.

I wrapped the blanket tighter around myself before glancing at my phone.

2:35 a.m.

Daisuke finally graces me with his presence walking inside the room.

"What are you doing up, ma?" He asks softly with smile.

"I was waiting on you."

"I don't think I remember telling you to wait up." He smirks seeing right through my partial lie.