The Supernova Effect

Chapter 24

Nova
You learn to really appreciate something when you realize someone else lacked what you felt was a normal part of life.

That's how I felt about Daisuke's relationship with his dad. I would never really understand the absence of a father, I can try to imagine and piece together scenarios but I will never truly know how hard it was. My dad wasn't perfect but at least he was in my life.

I wanted him to have some closure and after finding out that Darius was connected to his dad I've been spending more time with him than my own boyfriend trying to figure out a plan for Daisuke to meet his dad face to face.

"Okay I'm texting him to come pick me up from work and when he does your dad will be there instead of me." I say to Darius.

"Okay sounds good."

"You sure this will work, I'm honestly really worried."

"What are you so worried about?" Darius asks as he grabs my balled up fist trying to comfort me.

"I just don't want him to freak out, when I brought up talking to his dad before he seemed so upset by the idea."

"Listen to me if it is meant to be it will be I promise you that. I can't promise everything will work out because I'm not even sure if it will, all we can do now is have hope." He pats my back and I nod.

"You're right I just hope everything will be okay."

"My dad's here I'm gonna go outside to stall him until Daisuke gets here."

I nod, checking my phone to see his location was a minute away. The scariest thing is not knowing how he'll react. I knew everything about him until it came down to his family. I was too afraid to say anything mainly because I know the pain he went through is really hard to talk about.

All I want is to be his comfort, the one he turned to when things felt impossible. This could either go terribly wrong and I come out the worst person possible for digging into his business or this could go great and him and his dad could become close again, I'm willing to bet on that.

Darius and his dad were at the entrance as I walked out to Daisuke. He was getting out of his car and his face lit up when he saw me but his eyes were red and he smelled like weed and cologne.

"Hello my love." He flashes his pearly white teeth pulling me into his embrace.

"Hey." I smile nervously.

"Can you come with me real quick, I have to tell you something." I say holding his hand.

He nods and blindly follows me but once Darius and his dad were in sight he stops in his tracks and lets go of my hand.

I turn around to see his pretty face clouded with a melancholy frown.

"No Nova, no don't do this to me." He whispers in a plea looking down at me with pure betrayal in his eyes and my heart sunk. He was biting his lip in an attempt to lull his emotions. A habitual notion I caught him doing while he was on trial.

Little habits to keep himself controlled.

Because Daisuke never truly let himself fall apart in front of people.

"Daisuke," I say softly while reaching for his hand again, "what are you so afraid of? He can't hurt you anymore."

"Not physically," he says quietly.

The words make my chest tighten instantly.

"Don't you want closure?"

"You talk about my pain," he says sharply, pulling his hand away, "like you know exactly what I went through."

I freeze.

Because this is the first time he's ever raised his voice at me.

Daisuke never express his explosive emotions, he locked them away until they became poison.

Hearing anger finally slip out of him now felt almost frightening.

"You're right," I whisper after a moment. "I don't know exactly what you went through."

His jaw tightens.

"But I do know trauma doesn't disappear," I continue quietly. "It stays inside you. It sits at the bottom of your stomach like a parasite."

His eyes flicker slightly.

"And I know what happens when people spend their whole life trying to numb it instead of face it."

His expression hardens immediately.

"If facing him is what healing looks like," he says coldly, "then I'd rather keep the parasite."

He turns to leave.

I grab his arm before I can stop myself.

"I just want you to be okay!"

He freezes.

"What you're doing right now is gonna destroy you, Daisuke." My voice shakes. "Do you really think I haven't noticed?"

Slowly—

He turns back toward me.

And the realization in his eyes tells me everything.

"I found the pills," I whisper.

His entire body goes still.

"The acid. The Xanax. I found it while cleaning your apartment."

Shame flashes across his face so quickly it almost hurts to witness.

"It wasn't just weed, was it?"

He says nothing.

"Is this really how you wanna live?" I ask desperately. "Because I can't sit here and watch you kill yourself."

Something inside him snaps then.

"You sound just like my mom."

"What?"

"Trying to control me. Trying to fix me."

"No, that's not what this is—"

"Maybe spending all that time with her rubbed off on you."

The words hit like a slap.

"You think you're better than me now because Amir's dead?" he continues bitterly. "Trying to save me like I saved you?"

My eyes immediately burn.

"Well wake up, Nova. I don't need saving."

"Daisuke—"

"I chose drugs," he snaps. "That's how I cope. And maybe I'll keep coping like this until it kills me."

Then he pulls away from me completely.

And leaves.

I don't chase him.

Because I know immediately there's nothing left to say.

Every step he takes away from me feels like something inside my chest is tearing open.

"Nova?"

Darius approaches carefully after a few moments.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," I lie automatically.

A tear slips down my face before I even realize I'm crying.

Darius gently wipes it away.

"No you're not."

And somehow hearing someone say it out loud completely breaks me.

"I can't help someone that doesn't wanna be helped," I whisper before the tears finally spill over.

Darius immediately pulls me into his arms while I cry against his chest.

This was the first time Daisuke ever treated me so harshly, a cruel parallel I never thought I would experience. With every step he took, it felt like my chest hollowed one breath deeper. I didn't just lose him—I lost the version of him that believed I was his home.