The Supernova Effect

Chapter 31

Daisuke
Nova was gone off to work and  I was left alone. Since the trial my job let me go and I haven't been able to find another one in such a short amount of time.

The apartment was too quiet, like it was holding its breath or maybe that was me.

The blunt in my hand had burned down to a roach between my fingers, but I didn't move. Smoke curled through the air like fingers trying to choke the truth out of me.

I could still smell the lake, or maybe I just never stopped smelling it. Algae. Gasoline. That metallic tang of moonlight off water.

I was shaking, but not from the drugs, that came later.

Right now, it was the soft plunk of Amir's body breaking the waters surface. It echoed louder in my head than the screaming ever did.
it had been quiet, he Just sank like he belonged to the dark.

He was high, I reminded myself. He didn't feel a thing.

But what if he did?

What if he woke up halfway down and realized he couldn't move?
What if he panicked?

I curled forward in the chair, fingers knotted in my hair, my whole chest tightening like it might cave in. The ground felt like it was rising, tilting, dragging me backward into the past.

I used to think I understood death, But I never really did, not until I caused it, not until I watched life leave someone's body by my hand.

I didn't feel guilty, what  I felt was clarity. Like everything in my head went quiet for the first time in years.
Because I knew what Amir was. And I knew what he was going to keep doing if I didn't stop him.

He would've hurt more people, He would've hurt her again, and I couldn't let that happen.

Nova was the only thing in my life that ever felt worth protecting. And I did what I had to do. Call it obsession. Call it psychotic. Call it murder—I already know what I am. But if someone had to carry the weight, let it be me. Not her.

What I did was wrong. It'll never be anything but wrong.But it was necessary. I planned everything, every detail, every lie, every trace of evidence that wouldn't exist.

I thought about how he might die constantly, some nights I'd lie in bed imagining it over and over until the line between thought and intention blurred. Then one night, it clicked, if I wanted him gone for good, I had to make it look like a suicide.

A few months after graduation, I reached out to him like nothing had changed. We still had business. He was one of my suppliers. Acid. Xanax.
He hated me. I hated him, but drugs made things tolerable, that was our truce.

So I told him I wanted to buy, no reason to say no, he got in my car, I offered him a blunt, told him I had extras rolled and didn't want them to go to waste. He took it, of course he did, but what he didn't know was that I'd laced it.

It only took a few hits before he started to fade.I kept driving. Casual, slow. Just a couple of guys riding around, looking for a spot. Nothing suspicious.

When he passed out, I took him to Lake Michigan, at three in the morning when it was Dead quiet.
No one around.

I took my family's boat and I dragged his body in and took him out far enough that no one would find him until it was too late.

I watched his body sink under the moonlight, It looked peaceful, but it wasn't.

The jury ruled it a suicide and Everyone bought it, And that was that.

What I did was a love crime.It's the most fucked-up thing I've ever done, But I did it for her, and now, I live with it, Every night.

I squeezed my eyes shut, but Amir was already there.