𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

44

Ｍｉｃｈａｅｌ

I was ready to go home, dee had brung me out to a club. The loud music had my clouded thoughts going even crazier.

At first I was having fun then all my excitement died down the moment I thought about her.

What would she think of this ? Is it even okay for me to be here ?

The girls dee had brung for us were cool I guess but it wasn't sos...nothing was her.

I knew it'd be long before these couple of months turned to years.

The girl next to me whispered in my ear telling me to come back to her place.

For a moment it crossed my mind but I threw it out of the window, but when I felt her hand hover over a place it shouldn't have been my mind found itself giving in to lust. I was drunk, too drunk.

But still, "Whatever you want from me, get it right here." I had no plans to bring her home nor go to hers.

So a small kiss or too wouldn't hurt.

I knew nothing would compare to sos but I didn't have her and it was killing me.

...

ｓｏｌａ̀ｎａ

My eye's fluttered open, thinking it was morning. Ever since that night at the pool I haven't been able to sleep because I knew that after all this time if I did what I did with Ace, there was no telling what Michael was doing.

I kept my distance from Ace because of the guilt I had felt.

I tried to rationalize my actions but I was slowly losing my sense of confinement. I was getting used to staying here, I was getting comfortable.

I slipped into my house shoes, the house was more quiet as it was the middle of the night.

As I walked into the kitchen, I got me a glass of apple juice and just stood their thinking. I knew I needed to go soon.

My mind was running in circles. How was that even when you barely feel anything for someone you fall into your vulnerability? I swear I didn't feel for him like I felt for Michael.

A familiar voice dragged me out of my thoughts, "you've been up all this time?"

I looked up from my cup to see Ace, no shirt, looking good as always. Maybe if do better if he was ugly.

It's just how do I say no to him ?

"I wake up around this time every night." I said monotonous, trying to act disinterested in conversation with him.

"What's with the cold shoulder?" He asked walking towards me until he finally stood in front of me.

"I don't think you understand how hard this is for me." I stated.

"It's hard for me too Solàna."

"No, you don't have a lover at home that you feel guilty about, we relate at Dantè, then it stops there. I loved your brother, and I have a boyfriend who loves me. What would that make me if I continued-

"What would that make me? I'm the bad guy here, take it all out on me. Whatever guilt you have let me carry it. I'll take it. Everything is on me Solàna. It is my fault. I'm the reason." He told me sincerely.

I looked in his eyes giving me the signal of truth, this is what I had in front of me. A man, a broken one, do I fix him ?

Does my sympathy for him go that far ? It's no denying that he deserves love but from me ? Of all people ? Jesus.

"Just for one day, please let me have it all. Okay ?" He asked as he opened his arms for a hug.

I couldn't help but walk in his arms, and rest my head on his chest.

"Am I a bad person?" I asked looking up at him.

"I'm the bad person." He redirected my thinking. I didn't know what to think of him but I knew he was correct, I couldn't judge myself based upon his actions.

I pulled away from him before things became too intimate, as I began to walk away I felt his arm wrap around my wrist and I immediately pulled away being brung back to the bruising he caused.

"You never gave me a chance to make up for the first day." He said in a tone I knew too well.

I stopped for a minute before I could feel my back right against his chest.

"Damon." I warned him softly because I knew what this would result to.

His hands made their way to untie my robe.

"Relax."

And I did just that and before I knew it my robe was on the floor and he was placing kisses all over my neck, small "Sorry's" leaving his lips with each kiss and for the first time I felt myself grow warm underneath his touch.

I tried to hide my moans but that just made things worse as he deepened the affection. "It's just us. Let it out." He whispered lowly in my ear. I was melting.

This wasn't me being naive or stupid or dumb. 6 months too many without anything. This was me using whatever to allow myself to relax.

So with each kiss I moaned softly and before I knew it he had me up in his arms with my legs wrapped around his torso. He gripped at my ass like it was his and part of me loved the aggressiveness he handled me with.

He made his way to my chest, unclipping my bra and taking my breast in his mouth. My right hand found its way to his hair, I gripped it tightly and he moaned in my chest making want to be closer than just this.

I think he sensed that so he adjusted me on his print making hold him tightly, "use your words next time."

I could feel him harden underneath me with each kiss, and then he placed me off the counter. He looked at me as i tugged at the lining of his sweatpants.

"Are you sure?" He asked. His eyes were filled with lust, like he was waiting to hear me say yes.

I sighed giving him a no with my eyes, my silence let him know everything and he quickly went into comforting me.

He picked me up, "It's alright, i understand." He told me softly.

I felt so bad. Even after this I was still conflicted with myself, I was in denial. I knew what my body wanted but my mind refused to even go so far.

"Do you need anything ?" He asked.

"To be able to fully sleep through the night." I whispered.

"You can sleep with me tonight."

...

Authors Note