𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

41

I woke up with Ace next to me, he had understood not to come too close.

After all he had told me, I understood all of his decisions up to taking me. There are plenty of girls he could have chosen.

I mean of course I'm a special girl but not til the point where you kidnap me. It just...and my mind was filled up with too much.

I didn't have a clue what to do with all that he had told me. My heart belonged to Michael, always and forever and even if he hadn't, that's so disrespectful to Dantè.

I wonder if he knew before he kidnapped me that me and his brother loved one another.

As I went into deep thought he woke up and looked at me.

"Did you know about me and Dantè?" I asked softly and he shook his head no.

Where do I go from here? How am I supposed to treat him ?

"Do you know now?" I asked.

"Yes I know but-

"Then you should know that this isn't right. You picking me, I'm no good for you. I was meant for Dantè, not you." I told him sternly and he grabbed my hand, the coldness sending shivers across my body.

"So you don't feel anything ?" He asked and I shook my head.

"Only because of your coldness, you don't bring warmth. You are not soft like Dantè, you aren't stability. You are all over the place, like a roller coaster. I don't want that. I want Michael, I want to feel secure. Not scared!" I yelled.

He looked at me and I watched as his mood shifted, "I scare you ?" He asked and I nodded my head.

"How do I fucking scare you ? I HAVE TRIED MY HARDEST TO GET YOU COMFORTABLE. EVERYTHING, you barely even have spoken to me Solàna." He raised his voice, his yell caused an emotional reaction from me.

Tears began to come to my eyes, "That's why you scare me." I told him. I began to cry uncontrollably.

He looked at me if I was a crazy. Like he did every time I cried, like something was wrong with me.

I felt his arms wrap around me awkwardly, like he didn't know what to do, like this was his first time being in the presence of someone crying.

I cried in his shoulder, his body heating up from the touch of mine. The weight of his arm provided security physically, but mentally his care wasn't there. That softness that I longed for ceased to exist with him.

So yes, I was safe in his arms but actually feeling safe never came upon me.

...

The rest of the day was awkward silence. We ate together in silence, i painted and he went off to whatever he did in his office.

Time passed, until the hour became late, it was about 11, I had eaten in my art room so I wouldn't have to see him.

The snow was hella heavy today so we both had to stay in, usually when I cry he leaves the house and has Carmen deal with my emotional distress but this time he couldn't just do that.

I heard a knock at the door and it was him, in a pair of black sweatpants and his dreads pulled back so that I could fully see his face. He rarely showed his face behind them.

The scar on his chest and face was still very visible.

In his hand he held cups of something that looked hot.

He stood in front of me and handed me the cup.

"I don't know how to comfort people, my upbringing wasn't very comforting so seeing you cry...it bothers me. I don't like when I can't handle things. Seeing you sad and not knowing how to deal with it messes with me a lot so I'm sorry for how I was towards you." He apologized.

I sat the cup down and looked up at him, "Be gentle." I told him.

"I'm trying but it's hard. I didn't think having you would make me work on myself but I'll do that. I'm not letting you get away Solàna." He told me.

That's when it hit me. I wasn't getting out of here any time soon. I was basically stuck with him.

I was hurt about it because lord knows how happy I was that I found Micheal, he was perfect for me. Now I have to deal with someone who's the complete opposite of me.

"Yea, I know." I whispered.

"Do you want to watch a movie, I was thinking maybe Creed ?" He asked and I fake smiled at him.

"Yes, just let me get cleaned up."

...

I went into our room and washed up, I didn't bother with putting any clothes on, just a matching bra and pantie set, I was drained and just unhappy. I was also tired.

I wrapped myself in a robe and brung my straightened hair up leaving a few strains out.

As I walked out I noticed a pair of Prada glasses at the kitchen counter with a note, "see if they work".

I put them on and my sight instantly got better, a small smile made its way to my lips and it soon faded when he walked in. I didn't need him to see that I was happy.

"They look cute on you." He told me and I gave him a small thank you.

After all he told me I decided I'd give him a bit of compassion, he had years of built up trauma and not the trauma people scream about on the internet.

This was real. And if I didn't handle him correctly who knows what he'd become.

"I'm about to bake cookies if you feel like helping." He said and i almost laughed.

"Since when do you bake cookies?"

He looked embarrassed so I sighed, "I'll help."

I started on making the cookie dough while he just added, he was handling everything roughly I had to stop every five minutes to tell him to stay calm.

"You're being too calm with the dough," he took the whisk from my hand and started mixing with his hands.

"Damon nobody knows where your hands have been."

"I barely leave the house woman, I touch what you touch." He said and i giggled.

Once he was finished I rolled them up in balls and placed them on the tray and put them in the oven. Right afterwards we washed our hands and went to lie down on the couch.

After the cookies were done we got ice cream along with a blanket.

I had forgotten how good this movie was, i was drifting off when he laid his head on my shoulder, then my lap and I just let it happen.

How do I say no ?

I didn't know how I was supposed to feel towards him, knowing what I had with Michael, knowing how attached I was to him.

And Ace he was just here, hurt and trying. There was no choice in anything. Staying here was my only option. Accepting my life as is was my only option.

What else was there to do ? No telling when Michael was coming.

...

Authors Note

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