a stilleto clicks as she start to walk, the breeze was still cold from her skin the blossoms that she used to love are now dying again, she can still remember how that night turn her life miserable how she helplessly sobbing in the road, how she begged to everyone that's passing her to help her but no one does, the anger in her heart are now burning again as the memory start flashing through her mind. if someone's help her, her ate wasn't in heaven.
she's in verge of crying but the moment she reached the tomb of the woman she dearly loved, she's now breaking.
"hey sis" she started but before she can say another word again she sobs, she thought she forgotten the past that she tried to burry. the flesh that she cover, the blood that she clean but she wasn't right because she still kneeling infront of the tomb of imee after 5yrs, she never came here for 5yrs the thought that she will forgot how painful the night is, the trauma that she had that night but life was too cruel for her that the flesh she covered are now slowly pealing again one by one like it was mean to be unhealed forever.
as her foot touched the tomb of imee, she found herself kneeling infront of her sister, she can't utter a word but a tears. she was breaking as if it happens yesterday. she's sobbing that she was ready to burried herself just to reach the forehead of her sister.
the dried leaves falling around and everywhere and she knows her heart too, it's so hard to move on to the person when you don't get the goodbye you deserved. it's so hard to wake up everyday thinking that her ate are just somewhere, hanging out and chilling out but no.
her ate imee was dead, she was no longer be with her anymore and that's breaking her.
"5yrs for christ sake manang i thought i wouldn't be crying her anymore but this" she pointed her heart.
"always betraying me, thinking that crying here will change everything." she caressed her face in her palms, the tears was all over her face and she didn't mind if that's ruining her make up. she feels like the air are hugging her making her more sobs "i know that's you. i know you don't want me crying because you always telling me i'm ugly when i'm crying" irene chuckles as the memories start flashing trough her mind.
-
"look who's here!! the nerdy, polo and tita of block A" the bunch of girls blocked irene way making irene gasped, she knows she will get in trouble if she will mind what this bitches telling to her
well she used to be called that, she didn't mind at all
"hey hey hey, don't go yet ninang" then they laughed trying to lift the hem of Irene's polo
"she's not ninang, look" then one of the girls grabbed irene bags.
"she's nanny, right nanny irene" they still teasing irene but irene just chuckled didn't mind what they saying
"i gotta go. i still have classes" she about to walk again when one of the bitches grabbed her and pinned her in the wall and about to punch her when---
"leave her or i will cut your throat" and by that simple threaten they get off their hands on irene, they look at imee who's still standing beside them chewing the gum and fidgetting the ballpen between her fingers, imee has a bad girl style. imee chuckled as dhe saw the bitchest hands trembling as well as their sweats dripping down.
"oh come on don't be too frightened sweeties i don't bite" then she leaned to the girls who terribly looking at her "but listen to me, the next time you touch the skin of my sister even a bit. you'll see your face in the toilet" then the girls run away from them.
"go bitches run, run as long as you can" imee slightly laughed.
"and you nerd" she looks at irene who's now crying and shaking, she just about to tease her sister but looking at her sobbing make her heart broke..
"hey" she pulled her sister for a hug. "don't cry you're too ugly" then irene slapped her shoulder and mouthed "thankyou"
-
irene used to be her defender, protector but now that she's gone who would be the one who's ready to take a risk just to save her? no one, no one can't do that only her ate.
the sobs that she's making is still the reason why she still can't sleep the way she sleep before despite that she knows in herself she's healed, she knows she can now wake up finding the hope in every sunlight. she knows she can be happy again without thinking about the past she burried with the plans she made with her ate. the future that they build out of their imagination, but she's too aware that mourning everyday wasn't be enough reason to grieve with her ate's memory.
"i miss you so bad manang. i miss youuu and i needed you every single day" she lowered her head reaching the tombstone of her sister, the cold stone touch her lips as she kissed it. the unhearable lullaby are now all around and the dried leaves falling around like they know the rhythm of her heart. the mechalony that's sorrowing her all through out are fading as she kissed the tomb of her ate and hugged her laying and resting her full body on the top of the woman she will loved for the rest of her life, she was in laying in the grass where her ate burried. how come grass can be your comfort
"i love you so much ate, take care now. don't let anyone hurt you again"
