how could someone heal from the grieve that killing them, how can they heal and move forward while me. i'm still trapped from the past. i'm still in the cage of regret and i can't even stand for my vulnerability and monstrosity, i'm still killing by the past, by the memories. by the plans but not of them was matter because the past was now forgotten and the future was now buried along with my dreams, the night wasn't shining anymore. the loudness can't hear no more, it's full of silence that made my ears bleed out till the flesh was now desolate, till it crushed one by one.
the sky wasn't giving me comfort anymore that even my blanket was now suffocating the shit out of me and it feels like choking me to death, the flames inside me was now slowly dying along with my bleeding heart, the bruised that memories left in my body can no longer heal by the future ahead.
above the darks surrounding i can see the shine through the eyes of imee, she was sunshine. she was glowing that even the lights cannot unsurpassed her from glowing, the profound of the poets that i made for her was no longer harmonizing by the beat of the pounding heart.
the flowers we used to love in our balcony was now dying, like it no longer knows the taste of the water. the withered flower indicating my heart that i buried long time ago.
the freeze that just exact to comfort her was now freezing her to death, how could she will move forward when the reason she's striving is her sister imee.
it's so hard for her to keep herself alive when she know someone in heaven had the part of her heart, the world will keep revolving and the time will facade away sooner but memories not and she will accept that till she reached the lifetime.
"hey something bothering you" the voice that she waited for so long, the voice that used to gave her peace was now lingering on her ears.
she wanted to yell to cry all the pain and excitement but the moment she felt the touch of the woman that she misses so much make her flinched and gasped for a second. a tears fell on her cheeks that even she tried not to she can't hold it..... she doesn't know if this real or not but the moment she turned around
there she saw imee standing infront of her wearing the most beautiful smile in the whole world...she don't know if she just misses her ate but the moment her gazes meet the brown orbs eyes of imee she hugged imee tightly
tightly that imee can't even breathe anymore. "oh goodness i misses you ate" then her tears started to fall like she was Niagara falls.
she parted her body and deep sighed "are you even real because if it's not---" imee cut her words by pulling her for another hug again.
"I'm real irene and i'm here don't cry na ading. remember i told you that you are ugly when you're crying" a chuckles from irene made imee smile.
irene don't know what's happening but she knew, she misses her ate so much to the point that if God will gave her another chance she will never let go her ate again in her arms.
"i miss you" irene voice trembled like she was frightened from what's happening but she wouldn't be happier if imee wasn't here.
"i miss you ate" then imee smiled looking at irene, she's breaking seeing her sister crying and tearing herself over and over for her. her sister doesn't deserve to be miserable like this because of what happened, she does not deserve to fall apart just because of the memories imee left her.
"oh come on ading. i'm always here i've never been in anywhere" then imee patched the back of her sister that still crying in her arms, if she could ever heal the heart of irene she will be gladly honor to do that.
irene is a precious gem that need a careful caring, she's vulnerable and raw and she knew irene was breaking and messing up because of her.
"but you will never be here imee, you promised me. you will never left me but you did. you're so unfair because you had the second chance to meet our parents again but you left me here manang! you left me alone." irene was sobbing and between her words imee knows she's breaking, she's fallen apart she can't bare seeing her sister irene like this but she can't do anything but to hug her sister hoping that will heal the bleeding heart of irene.
"you need to let me go ading, you are suffering because of me and i would be so happy if you will live for your life now. for your own life because you deserve irene....you deserve the world, you deserve your own world without me. the world that my existence doesn't matter anymore" Imee wiping the tears on irene cheeks while irene was continuously breaking, she don't know what to say. everything felt surreal and her lips cannot form any words anymore.
"how could i do that when you are the one who's there for me when our parents died? they asking me imee!! why i can't let you go because they don't know that you are the one who saved me. you help me fight with my kidney disease, you help me with everything. i was so lost manang but you didn't hesitate to saved me and i hate you for doing that! i really hate you for leaving me" irene was now on the floor, shattered and broken while imee was hugging her tremble knees.
"but you need to let me go irene, you have your own life don't waste your time for trying to save my own, because you couldn't do that anymore and you will never be irene" a tears formed in imee eyes, their heart was broken and slowly drying and the hopes are now fading.
"but why manang!! why can't i save you? whyyyy!!!" irene was crying kneeling infront of imee who's taking her step back away from irene, while irene was trying to reach the hand of imee.
"because i'm dead irene"
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"babe" a shake from nowhere bring back her senses, she open her eyes and pulled up herself. she look around and that when she realized everything
"it's a fucking dream!!!"
