they say the hardest part of our life is heartbreak but for irene the hardest part was loosing someone, someone you can't see no more. you can't glance or touch anymore because they are in heaven. if only have way from heaven she will surely take it and risk everything just to feel the touch of her ate again.
they always telling time will heal, but it almost 5yrs since that happened but she's still didn't move on, they say time will stitch those heart who's bleeding but why for her still so fresh like it just happened yesterday? why it so feel new? why her hearts still bleeding inside? why she's feel like she bound to suffer and grieve for her for lifetime?
"babe" greggy voice wake her up from the thoughts that's still flooding in her mind. "are you okay?"
"irene"
"hey honey"
"babe? come on"
"hey"
"irene"
"celestine"
-
"Celestine i can't now." her heart feels like stabbed for a trillion times, her hands sweating and trembling, her eyes swollen and she feels like dying. she didn't mind her messy hair or her clothes because seeing her ate between her arms begging and fighting for life is like a curse for her.
"you need to be strong ateee!! i need you" she almost mouthed, she cannot speak anymore because seeing her ate in that state feels like her half was buried with the pain, the bloody imee in irene arms was now gasping for an air, she's trying to fight...to fight the urge not to sleep for the sake of her sister begging her to fight.
"irene...." imee tried to reach the face of irene which is she gladly did, irene look at her with a tears in her eyes, they been there for a half hour but still no one dare to help them. imee can't no longer fight anymore and she knows that any moment she will be defeated from the urge not to sleep, her eyes was weary she's tired and she's exhausted....and she's sleepy.
"oh come on imee. don't speak!! don't consume yourself too much" there's a tears dripping down from imee cheeks, she doesn't want to leave because she want to live, not for herself. but for her sister but even though she badly want to fight, she's tired. we can't fight from the things we couldn't longer fight and she needs to accept that this, there or here from where she was laying she will bleed till death.
she was hurt physically, she feels like she stabbed by someone with chainsaw and she's blessing inside.
she's toreing emotionally especially seeing her sister crying over her was the moment she can't barely bare.
"irene...fight for me" the mouth can't speak but her heart does, god knows how she want to stay alive for her sister, she's begging to god right now to make her alive that even she want to sleep so bad her eyes can't shut seeing Irene in that state feels like karma for her.
is this the karma for all she done? for all the sin she made? for giving up and letting others took care of her child? is this because of that? because if it's. she's ready, she's ready to risk her life for the sake of the mistake she made but is it too much if she beg for one more chance? just one.... for her sister and for her child and she will correct all her mistakes.
"i have child irene"
"what the fuck are you saying manang!!! stop it fuck" irene hissed still trying to seek for help.
"i...m saying the..truth"
"yeah your saying the truth and you probably having a hallucinations so stop it" the sobs of irene was all they can hear she's trying her best to conceal because if she don't she will lost herself.
"irene---"
"wait manang. there's someone"
"oh god the ambulance"
"my child irene"
-
"she have daughter" a pinch from the man infront of her back her senses, she gasped and look at greggy.
"what?" she asked then frowned.
"she have daughter" irene was confused looking at greggy, daughter? what??
"who" she asked then greggy chuckles that's make her confused more.
"honey. we're talking about yenny right? she have daughter? you tell me that" the blank in her mind was fulfilled by greggy words, she didn't realize they talking about yenny because her mind was still in her ate, her mind was still recalling the night she lost her sister.
a cool early morning wind is blowing around giving them reason to let go the past that burying them alive but how could they will do that when the past was the reason why they're here, greggy doesn't know what's going on irene mind but he knows irene wasn't fine and he doesn't want to ask why. he don't want to be another burden for irene.
"yeah ofcourse we're talking about her" irene sighed shooking her head trying to divert her mind from thinking about that night.
she needs to let go so that won't hurt her anymore but the more she want to let go the more memories start recalling to her mind.
"it will take me for lifetime" she whispered and look outside, why i'm still broken like a vessels? why i'm still suffering? why i can't forget what happened that night. why i'm the one who still grieving?
why i can't just move on and start a new life? why i'm still holding from the past that should be forgotten? bullshit
why....i can't feel the love again, why it feels like a sin falling inlove with someone, someone i can feel myself like a burden.
there's a peace being with him, but it's suffocating me knowing that... I'm the midnight rain between us.
