Project: A Stark Winter

Chapter Nineteen: Such Sweet Sorrow

Drifting to consciousness, your eyes blink away sleep as they take in the brightly lit interior of your room in the tower. Clumsily, your hands flop over to your bedside table searching for your phone. When they find what they're looking for, you tilt the screen in the direction of your sleepy eyes to see it read 7 A.M . You sigh deeply as you flop an arm over your face. It was still fairly early, but knowing the rest of the team they would be bustling around getting ready for a day of training and debriefs. As you yank back the covers and swing your aching legs out to the side of the bed the realization hits you that you had an entire night's sleep; uninterrupted by the nightmarish dreams that have haunted you as of late. Part of you felt a sense of relief in the night's respite from the horrors that typically awaited you in your dreams, but part of you knew that it was too good to last. Bad luck followed you everywhere you went lately and before too long the bad things would find you again. Shoving away the drowning feeling, you hold your breath and push yourself to stand. Your body wobbles and sways slightly as you stand there, but you feel steady enough to face the day. As you busy yourself with getting ready for the day; tugging a brush through your hair and getting dressed in a pair of leggings and sweatshirt, you head out the door to the kitchen. Stepping into the hallway you see Wanda excitedly skipping toward the direction of your room a huge smile plastered on her face. You could almost feel her bubbly energy as she approached you and it brought a small smile to your own lips.
"Good morning! Sleep well?" She asks in a chipper voice, her eyes wide and waiting as they stare at you hopefully.
"Actually, yeah. I didn't have a single dream, which is a little weird..." You smile as you speak, though the nervousness and hesitation are clear in your voice. Wanda's smile only widens as she listens, practically bouncing on the balls of her feet. You eye her suspiciously knowing she was clearly up to something.
"What did you do?" You ask plainly, though the smile remains fixed on your features.
"I might've tiptoed past your room and done a little...mind tampering..." She beams as she speaks, wiggling her fingers in the direction of your head.
"Wanda!" You squeal at her as you nudge her shoulder gently with your own.
"What? No harm no foul. Plus, your mind can go to some interesting places..." She declared with a sassy pout of her lips. She crossed her arms and stared you down, a mischievous grin playing on her lips. Your cheeks reddened in a bright blush knowing she didn't speak of your nightmares, but rather of your thoughts of a particular Winter Soldier. You roll your eyes in a large circle before linking your arm with hers and strolling to the kitchen together.
"What? Nothing to say for yourself, y/n?" She laughs loudly as you drag her along not having enough energy to refute her insinuation. Stepping into the open kitchen space the eyes of Steve, Sam, Tony, Bruce, and Natasha land on you and Wanda sauntering into the room. They held cups of coffee and half-eaten bagels as they looked over the daily debriefing and training schedule. The group smiles as they look up at you, but behind the bright smiles are dark circles of tiredness that one night couldn't replace. Guiltily, your smile falters and your eyes slide once again to the floor as you murmur your 'good mornings' to the group. Tony steps forward and slides a toasted blueberry bagel in your direction.
"Sleep okay, kiddo?" His voice earnestly drags your gaze to meet his own.
"Yup. Wanda made sure of it." You mutter in response, once again nudging Wanda as she slides onto a barstool next to you and begins munching on your bagel. She yelps loudly and then begins laughing once more; the sounds of it melodic and soothing. Tony eyes you both but merely shrugs; giving up on whatever mischievous meaning your words held. He fills a coffee mug, placing it in front of you and smiling widely.
"Thanks..." You murmur softly, grasping the mug in both hands firmly and taking a slow sip. The coffee was warm and soothing as you allowed it to fill your senses and wake you up. A clap of hands breaks you from your peaceful moment as the team turns to look at Tony, waiting for him to speak.
"Okay, everyone. Most of us are here so I'd like to touch base after...everything that happened." Tony addresses the group in his typical leadership tone, but drifts off as his eyes glance at you as the 'everything that happened.' You pick at your cuticles as he speaks, not daring to glance at any of the team in fear of seeing disappointment or resentment in their eyes.
"That being the case, I know we are tired so I'm giving everyone the week off to just relax and take it easy. You all have earned." The team lets out small whoops and 'thank you's' as they celebrate the week off, but it's cut short as Pepper Potts walks into the room and crosses her arms.
"A week off for everyone except you, y/n." Pepper declares cooly, a serious business expression painted on her face as she stares at Tony who immediately begins pouting. They have a momentary stare down, clearly a topic they've debated between each other as of late. He opens his mouth to protest, but Pepper simply raises a hand to silence him.
"I know what you're going to say, but she needs to get back to some semblance of normalcy."
"But she-"
"Will be doing deskwork and filing for me at Stark Industries. It's not strenuous and I'll be watching her."
"I just think-" Tony attempts again, but Pepper cuts him off abruptly.
"That it's a wonderful idea? Yeah, me too!" She says sarcastically, a playful smile pulling at her lips. She gives Tony a quick peck on the cheek and turns to you.
"Finish getting ready for the day and meet me in the lobby in fifteen minutes. Happy can drive us to work, okay?" You nod briskly at her, scooting away from the island and hopping down to head toward your bedroom. You silently thanked Pepper for the distraction of working and knew that she was helping you whether Tony realized it or not. Steve gave you a tight smile as he grabbed your elbow and whispered lowly while he kept his eyes locked on yours.
"Just take it easy, okay?"
"I promise I won't pick a fight with the copy machine." You tease Steve with a wink and give his bicep a comforting squeeze as you sneak past him and the reluctant looks of the rest of the team. After everything that happened, you were ready to get back to a normal life. You had set yourself into the final decision to make this life work and wouldn't squander this second chance. Working gave you purpose and you were more than ready to feel useful again. Based on the events of the last mission, you knew that it would be a while before they would let you step foot onto dangerous grounds so this had to work. Dressing carefully in a pair of business slacks, a white, silk button-down shirt, and a grey tweed overcoat you appraised yourself in the mirror before nodding at your reflection. You dabbed your pulse points with a floral perfume and tossed your hair into a tight bun, pulling free a few strands in the front to complete the look. You quickly swiped your eyelashes with mascara and outline your lips in a soft red lipstick, smiling as you stared back at yourself. Not half bad. You thought to yourself, grabbing your leather laptop bag and sliding into a pair of black heels. Taking a deep breath, you steel yourself against the busy day ahead and head toward the elevator, ready to take on whatever today threw at you.