Project: A Stark Winter

Chapter Thirteen: Something You Should Know

The ride back to the Tower was filled with deafening silence. Any attempt to meet the eyes of your teammates was met with averted gazes and deep sighs. They were confused with the traumatic scene and now had hesitation about who you were for the first time since you had arrived; outside of Bucky who just glared glared at the floor with the most anger you've ever seen from him. Not only had you all failed at the mission, but now there was a lingering feeling of something being wrong with you. A defect in your once loveable and easy to get along with personality had now caused them to regard you with stiff distrust. The change in the team who wore the faces of those you loved cut deeper than you cared to admit and under the surface the fragile semblance of hope began to crack. You had never met that man before in your life, but somehow he seemed to know such an intimate detail of your past, something you had only shared with the Tony of this universe. Thoughts race around your mind as pieces of a jumbled mess scatter across your conscious. A sharp, stinging pain burns underneath your skin causing you to flinch instinctively. Pulling back the sleeve of your jacket you stare in alarm as a dark bruise for a before your eyes. What the hell? Your fingers gently trace the tender flesh and pull back suddenly as the pain intensifies and shoots waves of dark liquid out from the spot through your veins. You involuntarily grunt and suck in a gasp of air while trying to bite past how much that single action caused hurt to cascade over your entire body. Bucky's body shifts in your direction every so slightly at the sound, altered by the sounds of your quiet struggle. Tugging your sleeve down quickly, you meet his steely gaze and cross your arms; biting your lip against the nausea forming in your throat.
"Are you good?" He asks blandly. All emotion was removed from the words as his eyes held the hostility and anger instead. Bucky stared and waited for you to respond, but your mouth was pinched shut to keep you from getting sick all over the floor of the jet. He cocked his head to the side and leaned forward menacingly; elbows resting on his knees as he held his metal fist in his hand tightly.
"Are. You. Good." Bucky grumbled lowly through gritted teeth, his jaw clenched. Feeling your chest begin to rise and fall rapidly, you simply nod your head and hope he leaves you alone. That answer seemed to appease him enough for now as Bucky leans back and resumes his task of staring holes in the floors You saw his temple vein pulse as you attempted to focus on anything other than the rising panic feeling in your chest. Shit. What did Bucky tell me again? Five things I see. Looking around the sullen bay of the quinjet, you felt the guilt settle deeply in your chest. Your eyes land on Steve who looks at you briefly before lowering his eyes to the metal floor. His chiseled jaw was set in a tight line, the shadow of stubble creeping its way across his chin; he looked exhausted. As he sat there, arms resting on his knees and hands in a prayer position, you tried to muster up any ounce of courage you possessed to say something. It was odd how two life long friends that share so many things can be so opposite of each other. There's a stark contrast in the way Steve felt warmer and kinder to the rougher cooler Bucky. They can sit and do the same things and get be completely polar opposite. Feeling your gaze on him, Steve finally looks at you and gives a sad smile; as if to say, "We will work this out." Before you could open your mouth to speak, Bucky stands abruptly and plunks down next to his friend while he stares daggers at you. You close your mouth and lean back in your seat, fighting back the stinging tears that threaten to spill free. Footsteps from the cockpit draw all eyes to see Natasha striding in, her face set in a grim expression as she spoke.
"We are landing now. Tony wants to meet for the mission debrief in the conference room. Immediately." Her stern voice carried no emotion, but her eyes flickered with a hint of sadness as she looked at you. The team mumbled their agreement as the jet shifted and began to land. With a loud mechanical clanking, you felt the quinjet settle on the landing bay of the tower. The same lurching, nausea caused a whirling sensation through your body as goosebumps rose on your arms. Shivering, you shrugged into yourself and hoped that whatever hell waited for you, it would be over soon. Unbuckling your seatbelt you stood abruptly and made a mad dash for the exit as the bay door lowered to the ground. As you step out into the loading bay your eyes instantly land on Tony, his hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans and looking distressed. You make a beeline for him, but Bucky and Steve make it to him first. You stop in your tracks and watch as he leaves for the conference room with the two of them, talking animatedly and angrily. Sighing dejectedly, you move to the weapons rack and begin unloading all your daggers and replacing the rifle where it belongs. Shutting the case with a resounding thud, you summon the remaining courage you posses and follow on the tails of your teammates as they walk to the mission debrief. As you enter the room, Tony, Steve, and Bucky stop talking abruptly. You felt so small in this space for the first time since you had woken up here. As quietly as possible you sink into a conference chair and fold your hands in your lap, refusing to bring your eyes to see looks of disappointment and distrust on the faces of the team. They all take their respective seats, none choosing to sit near you as Steve begins to ramble on about the logistics of the mission.
"As we waited on the southside of the warehouse, we sense some movement inside. We held position and continued to wait them out. Y/n called through the comms that they were fleeing so we followed...We didn't find Müller, but there was a man, one of his associates that seemed to have some information. He...killed himself with a poison capsule while the rest escaped." As Steve finished speaking, silence once again filled the stale air around you. Suddenly, Sam broke the silence with a brash and accusatory tone, dragging your eyes to meet his.
"Alright, I'm gonna say it since no one else wants to. What the fuck, y/n? How did he know you? Are you working with Hydra?" His posture was relaxed as he spoke, but his voice carried the weight of his accusation intensifying the feeling of unease in the room. Bile rose in your throat; burning and sour as and electric ache formed in your spine.
"No! I don't know who that was!" You protested; mouth agape as the final part of his accusation settled in.
"But he knew you and this is apparently your first time in this universe?" Clint countered, wiping a hand through his dirty blond hair.
"It is my first time here. I don't know how he knew me." You plead earnestly, hoping that they would see you were telling the truth.
"Well, it just seems rather convenient that you turn up and all of a sudden a literal Hydra agent seems to know who you are." Sam cuts back in, not allowing you the chance to continue your defense.
"Sam, calm down. She's not working for Hydra. Let's just take a second to-" Steve attempts to deescalate the situation, but Sam isn't having any of it.
"No, I will not calm down. This is big deal, Steve."
"I know that more than anyone but accusing people won't get us anywhere."
"We aren't accusing, Steve. He literally addressed her directly, and with a pet name." Clint grumbles waving a hand in your direction.
"What pet name?" Tony chimes in, his voice wavering slightly as he asks. Steve sighs deeply and shakes his head.
"He called her Speck...I'm not sure what that means." Steve looks at you sadly while he speaks, when suddenly Tony stands and storms out. As soon as he leaves, the room bursts into a chaotic discussion about whether to trust you or not. Not daring to move from your spot you sink as far back into the chair as possible, your breathing coming in quick and shallow bursts. This chance at a fresh start was ruined already, and it wasn't even your fault this time. You didn't know how to get the team to believe you or if you should even bother trying to convince them. You once again try to think back on Bucky's tips for calming down from a panic attack and began the steps as you feel the room around you closing in. A you look around, it became a struggle to find anything remotely neutral to focus on. Five things you can see? Angry faces, fists clenched at sides, the team shifting away from you, fluorescent lights that felt almost blinding, Wanda looking at you sadly. Everything you saw became ingrained in your mind as a visual representation of your failure. Shutting your eyes against it all you tried to focus on anything you could hear that would relax you. Four things, you just need to find four grounding sounds. As you listened you heard the shouts of anger from people you cared about upset with you, you heard Sam's foot anxiously tapping on the ground under the conference table as it made a methodical sound. Trying to push past the noise you listened intently for anything else to center yourself with hearing only the buzzing of the overhead light and more angry shuffling from in front of you. Clamping your hands over your ears you groaned at the rising wave of anxiousness. This wasn't working and you were quickly dissolving into a panic attack. It loomed above you like a large wave out on the ocean proving to be too big to fight against. As it crashed down on you, you fall to the ground bracing yourself as the fear and distress consume you. Eyes screwed shut and ears covered by your hands you crouch on the floor beneath the conference table, slowly rocking yourself in a last-ditch effort to comfort yourself. How could you have been so stupid to have thought this chance would be any different? You are a screw-up and nothing more. The intrusive thoughts begin to scold you, picking you apart and leaving nothing to be scavenged. You suddenly felt a sharp pain in your right thigh causing you to cry out in pain, the room around you falling into yet another uncomfortable silence. Peeling your eyes open to peak at what had just happened, you pull your pant leg up and your eyes go wide as saucers when they see a giant bruise forming there. Scrambling to your feet you limp your way out from under the table right as another invisible attack knocks you onto its surface. As you lay there feeling the coolness of the wood against your cheek invisible claws dig into your left shoulder blade. The pain is searing hot as it tears through your flesh and you scream out in spite of yourself. You tentatively reach a hand to your shoulder and your stomach plummets as you feel wet, stickiness there. You shakily bring your hand to your face to see that it's blood. Your frantic and terrified eyes dart to the team for help as they stand there in shock and horror at your invisible assault. You try to step away from the table but are only knocked to the ground by yet another blow. You lay there, face buried in the carpet sobbing as a flurry of blows lands on your back. Your voice only makes a strangled choking sound as the air is repeatedly knocked out of your lungs.
"Oh...little one...hope is for the weak..." The familiar, haunting voice drifts softly into your mind as you are pinned to the floor, cold and menacing it causes a chill to our over your body.
"Please! Stop!" You scream out on a broken sob, begging this onslaught to end. Around you, the team looks on, not sure what to do.
"Who is she talking to?" Shouts Sam above the sound of your struggles as he winces as another blow strikes your temple. Steve crouches by your side and takes your hand, offering soft reassurances that everything would be okay.
"I guess whoever is doing this to her." He mutters under his breath, unsure of how to help in this current predicament. New pain rips a shriek from your throat as your vision begins to darken, trying to pull you under.
"Yes...come to me..." The voice beckons you as the kicks and jabs worsen, your consciousness slowly slipping away. Tony bolts into the room then, Bruce hot on his heels as he carries various medical equipment all of which he dumps on the conference table before kneeling by your side.
"Turn her over!" Tony yells as he, Bruce, and Steve all work to get you to turn on your back. You turn limply in their arms with only soft whimpers escaping your lips, no longer able to muster the energy needed to scream. As they get you settled on your back they stare on in horror as you begin to convulse and spasm. Tears blur your vision as you look up into the fluorescent lights, the pain burning its way through your veins.
"Bruce, we have to do it now!" Tony screams at his friend, who looks from Tony to you in fear.
"Tony, it could kill her." Bruce gasps in disbelief, shaking his head in hesitation. Bucky steps forward then looking like he was ready to strangle someone.
"Did you say it could kill her!?" He screams as he looks on at your shivering and convulsing form. Bucky goes to stop whatever is about to happen as Clint places a hand on his shoulder. Bucky looks frighteningly torn as he watches the men work. Bruce is nervously glancing at Bucky as Tony ignores the large super soldier and focuses all his attention on trying his best to save you.
"If we don't try, whatever this is will kill her. It's our only option." Tony snapped as he gestured to your writhing form. Bruce grabs a vial of some blue liquid and a syringe from the table and clutches them tightly in his hands.
"I just thought we had more time...I-I warned you..." Bruce stammered out, his voice wavering with emotion.
"I know, buddy. But now's not the time for I-told-you-so's. Please, try and help me save her." Tony pleaded with Bruce, tears brimming in his eyes as he held your shaking hand. Bruce simply nods and fills a syringe with the blue, swirling liquid.
"Okay, y/n, this might hurt a bit.."
"Just DO IT!" You scream, summoning your last ounce of strength to withstand whatever he was about to inject into you. Bruce grips your right forearm and searches for a vein as he applies pressure there. Mostly satisfied he plunges the needle into your arm and pushes down, emptying the contents of the syringe fully into your veins. At first, you thought nothing had happened and that whatever he had tried to do was not working. And then, you felt it. Blinding pain shooting through your veins faster than the speed of light. It took the breath from your lungs as it felt like a giant cavern was opening inside your body. This pain was greater than anything you had ever felt in your life. It shot straight to your heart as it attempted to clear whatever poison lurked there. Black bubbles began crawling their way inside your veins toward your neck, crawling and shifting like dark ivy entangling itself just below the surface of your skin. It continued to creep its way across your skin until you whipped your head to the side and began coughing up dark, inky liquid. Your body shook violently with each wretch of black goo like an exorcism was being performed on you. A chorus of groans and gags resounded in the room as the team looked on, watching as you vomited the last of the black goo from your body. Bucky took a relaxed breath and stepped back and away from you, shooting an angry glare at you as he did.
"I almost die and you can't be nice to me for five seconds." You a snark but all he does is roll his eyes and lean back against a wall; brooding. Exhausted you flopped back on your side and laid there trying to catch your breath.
"What the fuck was that Tony?" Clint's disgruntled voice cut through the chaos of the moment. Tony gently stroked your hair and looked up to meet the eyes of the team, his friends, guiltily.
"Okay, guys. I think there's something you should know."