half a heart | beynika

17

beyoncé's pov

"you really think we can be together?" rocky asked me as we were sitting on the balcony of this place we were at. it was beautiful, and the two of us were having a deep talk about things.

"i wouldn't say no. after what onika did, i don't think i can really trust her. especially because she kept it from me for so long. if she would've said something before? i probably wouldn't want to break up with her. but she kept it from me, and she lied. i don't want to be with someone like that." i never thought i'd be thinking about breaking up with my girlfriend, but here we are.

rocky smiled and i knew she was trying to hide it. "well.. i think you guys should break up. be with me, bey, you know i wouldn't ever do you like that."

she was right. i did know she would never do that to me. which is why i was really considering being with rocky. she was perfect. rocky was respectful, thoughtful, loyal, honest, beautiful, inquisitive.. she really was a match for me. not only that, she was older and wanted to take care of me. and i had a thing for older women. mommy issues at its finest.

i bit my lip. "well, once i officially break up with onika, i'll definitely take up the offer on being with you."

her eyes widened in excitement. "really? like deadass? don't play with me, giselle!" she grabbed my face.

"i'm serious, rock. i'll be with you." i smiled.

she leaned forward and kissed me passionately. i happily returned the kiss and was honestly happy kissing her. it felt different from kissing onika.

she climbed into my lap and straddled me. i held her waist and didn't pull away from the kiss. i was almost stuck to it. rocky pulled back and stared into my eyes. "promise me you will?"

"i promise." i panted, catching my breath. she smiled again and reattached our lips.

- ✰ -

my weekend with rocky ended and i was on my way home to onika. i didn't want to be here, but i knew i had to be.

when i pulled up, michelle's and kelly's car were parked next to onikas, one of them in my parking spot. i was confused but didn't think much about it. the three of them were good friends.

i got out of my car and walked to our apartment. i used my key to unlock the door. when i walked in, i was shocked by the way my home looked.

onika's pov

"bitch don't fucking use that!" kelly slapped michelle's hand away. "she will hate that!"

while the girls were here, we had planned on an apology for beyoncé. i couldn't lose my girlfriend and wanted to do everything i could to
keep her as my own.

we went out and got a lot of things beyoncé would like. i did pay attention to my girl so i hoped all these things would aid in my apology to her. the girls and i had been setting up for awhile. i anxiously checked my phone for a text from beyoncé but received nothing. my heart shattered more.

"guys what if she rejects me? like- she just doesn't give a damn, and has already moved on?" i had tears in my eyes, ready to let them loose.

"stop thinking like that. bey texted me that she'd be here in twenty minutes. but that was like- ten minutes ago." michelle said.

the girls comforted me, keeping my anxiety down and then helped me get dressed. i had to look the part. once my makeup was finished, the girls heard keys jingling on the front door. kelly gasped and i got up, rushing to the living room. i took several deep breaths then waited until beyoncé opened the door.

"um- hey, baby." i said to beyoncé. i was hoping she'd be okay with all of this and not find this too much of me. i turned around for a moment then gave her the bouquet of flowers that sat on the table.

"i really, really want to apologize to you. for everything i've done. what happened with him was a mistake. and i don't want to lose you because of that. i was wrong for lying and hiding it from you, i know. and these few weeks you've been away from me.. it hurts. and it made me realize that i need to change and do better. not only for you, but for us. and for iris. because she deserves two amazing parents, not just one."

at this point i was crying. i wiped away my tears then looked away from her.

"please don't leave me, beyoncé. i truly do love you, and i know at times i'm not the best person to be with. but you're the only person i want and need. i don't want to throw away what we've got. i want to do better and move forward. please? can we please do that?"

beyoncé had no expression on her face. i knew she was trying to be hard and not sensitive. but i know her, she was about to break. i stepped forward and pulled her into my arms. and just like i expected, beyoncé broke down into tears. she dropped the flowers and gripped onto me.

i felt so bad for hurting beyoncé like i did, but i never wanted to lose her.

as she cried into me, i walked her to the couch. michelle and kelly were standing in the kitchen so they weren't in the way.

"i just don't understand how you could do that to me, onika." beyonce spoke.

"i'm sorry-,"

"no! just stop talking! for once! stop making shit about you, onika." she cut me off.

"i'm so sick and tired of having to do everything while you sit back and act like shit doesn't fucking matter cause your bitch makes money! you're always begging for shit, you're have no ability to be empathetic, you're selfish! the only time you're even open to the idea of giving a fuck is when iris is around!

i don't want- i don't want a half assed girlfriend. i get it, you've been through shit, but dammit me too! but i'm working, everyday, to be better so we can last long and be perfect parents for iris and then eventually be the perfect family. married with our own kids! in a huge house with a huge backyard! hell, even that damn dog you've been begging for!

i've stood by you through all of your troubles but what i wont do is stick by you after you've lied and cheated on me! that is unacceptable! and you fucking know it!" beyoncé was furious and i was afraid for what she might do next. she went to speak again but cut herself off as she began to sob. she fell to the floor and just cried into her hands.

i had to turn off my emotions to comfort her. i got next to bey, and held her close in my arms.

"i'm so sorry, baby. i really am." i whispered in her ear and pressed a kiss to her forehead. i felt like this wasn't going to be enough, but i knew that i'd have to prove myself more to her that i didn't want her and only her.

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a/n: this has been in my drafts for awhile. and i didn't reread so idk what happened in this mf chapter. 😭

but as promised, im updating after renaissance.

ATL NIGHT 3 ATTEEEE! GLAD TO HAVE ATTENDED THE BEST MF SHOW 😁😁

this is also NOT the end. so please don't freak out y'all. or maybe you should. ;)

i also think bey and rocky might date for a little... it gives they should. just to torture y'all. 🤭

also, rethinking if im gonna end this at 20 chapters like i planned. there's a lot i still wanna unfold in this story line. UNLESS, i do a sequel but i don't know. that's if y'all want that.