half a heart | beynika

20

*i'm struggling so bad writing this book. my goodness-*

MARCH 6th, FIVE MONTHS LATER

ONIKA'S POV

"you let this bitch meet my child?! you can't be that fucking dumb!" i yelled at her.

"onika, baby, she already knew about iris when her and i were online friends. why are you tripping like this? this was forever ago anyway." she grabbed my hands. she cupped my chin and turned my attention towards her.

"cut it out, onika, " she said softly.

"i'm sorry.. i just don't want iris to think that rocky is going to apart of her life because she won't be! i- i don't want iris to know anybody but me." i looked at beyoncé.

"i understand. rocky will not be apart of iris' life. not even as an auntie, baby. she's ours."

these last few months had been spent rebuilding our relationship. i enjoyed it a lot. we gave each other a clean slate, and let go of what happened. well she did. i was still pressed about rocky.

the only thing stressing us now was iris coming home.

this time to stay for the remainder of the school year and into the summer. i was stressed and excited. our lives were about to change drastically.

"good. thank you for being an amazing girlfriend to me." i thanked her, kissing her lips gently.

"that's what im supposed to do, baby." she smiled and hugged me. we swung side to side as we hugged. i could feel all the love she held for me.

we continued our conversation about iris. cleo would be dropping her off friday. it was tuesday.

"my biggest thing is finishing the process of adopting her. this should seal it, mainly, right? to show we are fit parents for her? we have our own place, we both have jobs.. yes we're young but i hate that they're using that against us. it's not fair." beyoncé leaned back. "i'm determined to get my baby though. i don't care."

i held her hand. "we will have her. don't worry about that." i reassured her.

friday rolled around quick. cleo was at our door bright and early to drop off our princess. opening the door, iris ran into my arms. i held her little body close to my chest.

"good morning, moomies!" i kissed her cheek. she giggled. "hi nicki!" she kissed my cheek.

beyoncé came out into the living room. she yawned and stretched. "damn, cleo. couldn't wait a few hours?" she said to her sister. cleo laughed.

"hell no! that little girl hasn't hushed her mouth about coming to see her yoncé and nicki. i had to come quick!" she walked to beyoncé and hugged her sister.

"YONCÉ!!" iris took no time jumping out of my arms to hug her. beyoncé pushed cleo out the way and held iris.

"hey, princess!" she kissed her all over her face. "i'm so happy you're here. i missed my buddy!"

"me miss you too!" iris smiled at her. beyoncé gasped. "is that a tooth missing?" she looked in her mouth and iris nodded.

"yup! it came out when i eat my cheetos! i was mad!" she pouted.

beyoncé chuckled, kissing her forehead. "it's okay, it'll grow back and you can still eat cheetos."

cleo sent iris off to her room so she could talk to us.

"you guys really want to adopt her?" cleo asked, looking at us both. i nodded and so did my girlfriend.

"are you sure? you guys are really young. are you two ready for a child? especially you, bey. you're twenty, you turn twenty one later in the year. a kid so soon is.. life changing. don't you want to go to school? do something career wise?" cleo said.

i understood where she was coming from with her concern. i had those concerns too. beyoncé was really young, damn near a baby herself. she didn't need to be a parent so soon.

"but it's what i want, cleo. i always had the dream of adopting iris to get away from mom. now that mom is dead, and i know you have your dreams of being the rich auntie, i want her. now. yes, im young. but my job pays good and i can always go to school later." she explained.

"but she's right. you should want to go to school now or at least live your life a little more. i feel that way too. that.. you may not be totally ready to be a parent." i commented, resting my hand on her arm.

"dang, you feel that way too?" beyoncé pulled away from me. "i know what i want, and i know what i can and can't do! i want iris to be my kid. i want it, i'm ready for it! i'm-," beyoncé stood up then walked outside.

"give her a minute to breathe. she's okay." cleo told me. i nodded and just leaned back. beyoncé felt heavily so i knew hearing that was sending her through the roof.

when she came back in, she flopped onto the couch. "i get what yall are saying. i'm just afraid she's going to grow up feeling like i do. and i don't want that for iris. i want her to want her life everyday. i want her to grow and be whoever she wants happily. and i know that it all starts at home. my baby needs a home. a secure one." beyoncé spoke.

"i know. if you say you're ready, then by all means, keep fighting for her. you know i'm always around to help." cleo stood up to hug her sister. she said goodbye to iris, and i pulled beyoncé into a hug.

"you know i love you, right?" i asked her and she nodded.

"i love you too, mama." she replied.

my lover and i chilled on the couch for some time. the house was too quiet. and that's the scariest noise a person with children could hear.

i went to check on iris, finding her in our room. she was covered in makeup. eyeshadow all over the floor and her face. my foundation splattered on the floor too. my brushes definitely needed to be thrown out because the bristles were all messed up. this shit wasn't cheap!

"iris lanijah knowles! what did you do?!" i yelled at the child which scared her.

her big brown eyes were wide as she stared at me. "i play with makeup!"

beyoncé dashed into the bedroom and her heart sunk. she knew the baby was in trouble.

"nika please don't-,"

"nope! cause she knows better!" i cut beyoncé off.

beyoncé didn't want to whoop her so i was going to. iris knew better than to play in my makeup. let alone put it all over the floor.

"baby, please don't yell at her." beyonce complained but i ignored her.

"this is not what we're going to do! you're supposed to ask me, correct? so why did you think this was okay?!" iris just stood there, then she shrugged. she then burst into tears.

seeing iris cry like this broke my heart, but i wanted her to be disciplined. i didn't want to raise a spoiled bad ass.

"this is going to hurt me more than you." i turned her around, and popped her thighs a few times.

her screams got louder and she ran off to her room. beyonce was on the bed crying herself.

"i don't like to hear her cry, baby. you know i don't do that whooping shit. she's four, she'll understand just as well if you just talked to her. hitting is unnecessary." beyoncé and this gentle parenting. it's cute.

"i understand that, but i am not raising a bad ass little girl, beyoncé." i folded my arms across my chest.

"i know, i know. but be gentle on my princess next time." she got up and tried to go to iris.

"no, giselle, let her cry. she'll be okay." i kissed her cheek and she sighed, sitting back down.

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a/n: i cannot stand this book and can't wait until i finish this-

didn't proofread. literally just gon drop this hoe.