The Best/Worst Musical Musical (BMC, DEH, HEATHERS)

six - complicated

(A/N: this covers some dark topics. drug references, suicide intentions, that sorta jargon. also woah larry aint homophobic but isnt weirdly overly-allyish too!! and i didnt change this one really, i couldnt be bothered as its one in the morning udaudh

CONNOR'S POV BRIEFLY:

Connor what do you think you're doing?

There it goes again, that noise I've constantly heard since lunch today. Drilling into my mind. I need it to stop. I fully regret it. Rich or Jake or whatever the fuck his name is contacted me last night saying it'd help me after asking people for numbers from people and so on. Now here I am, gasping for air due to the fact that I did a moronic mistake. I thought this was gonna be fairly useful. My name being chanted out like a slur despite the fact that I've called worse, I thought I could stop this. Y'know, feel good in my skin, feel like a human rather than some creature out of the void.

You'll learn what you need and what you want soon enough. For now, sit back and let me do all the work.

I thought the cigarettes made you go away. I'll try about everything until you shut up! I've been to different psych wards and rehabilitations, more than you could count.

Seven. Seven psych wards within the past five years, some of them having longer durations than others. That doesn't equate to much in the long run, more people have suffered far worse. 

I meant it metaphorically. Please just let me think straight. I feel like I can't breathe.

Not if you're inhaling random shit daily, no Connor. You need to focus on your other goals. Firstly, you've now gotten yourself into some spiral where everybody around you thinks you're dating Hansen I believe? It's hard to tell when I'm thinking in Japanese and in bytes. My main point is that you've messed up some innocent kid's future of having anything at all because of how selfish you were.

You're meant to help me?

Mainly getting girlfriends and careers, not trying to feel less suicidal. If anything, I increase that.

"CONNOR." Larry shouts from down the hallway. I don't think I have the energy to be confronted. I'm usually doing all sorts of shit but it feels weirdly different today. I just want everything to go fine. Yes I want to be dead, but also I want Hansen to not have somebody ruin him.

"GIVE ME A FUCKING MINUTE." 

"He's probably putting his bong away or something-" Zoe speaks towards Larry, a little too loud for my preference. That's the thing that pisses me off the most; them loud whispers. Where somebody is obviously talking about something bad you've done in front of you but not to you. 

I sit up, wiping away another tear from my eye with my hoodie sleeve. I bet I look red-eyed and high. Fits the 'Connor Murphy' look entirely, I just wish I had more of a vivid scent of weed upon my body. It's inevitable that I have to go out now, see them all, deal with the stuff I've caused. My body stands up and exits the room, the implant following suit.

Larry clears his throat ever so slightly, "So.. it's nice to see you alive and $600 richer."

"Is he high?" Zoe asks from her bedroom, her door wide open. I can imagine she's lying on her stomach with excitement coursing through her bloodstream, unable to wait to hear her blood relative get scolded.

"You'll be low in a minute, six feet fucking under-" 

"Ey! You two stop or else I'm cancelling your Spotify subscriptions." Larry sternly states for Zoe to shut her bedroom door. It'll do the world some good if she gets hers taken away, it's beyond shit.