The Girl Nextdoor

Chapter 4.0: Love Hidden in Lies

Hoshino Ai Monologue: I Wish You Were Here

Love is a concept I can't and couldn't comprehend no matter how many times I say it. Even though I say it almost daily... In the end, I always find myself lying at their faces. Deceiving them, and making them believe I love them. Perhaps, that's just what I am. A liar.

I don't exactly know for many days or weeks has it been, but recently I noticed that the way I interacted with Kiyotaka has changed, whether it's for the better or for worse.

The moments I spent with him were unforgettable.

It didn't matter whether we do the silliest and simplest things, I love the time I spent with him. I cherish it. I cherish those moments from the very bottom of my heart.

And right now as I watch the night sky in the balcony of Madoka-chan's condo unit, a spirit-like figure of Kiyotaka suddenly appeared and stood beside me with a smile.

He looked up at the empty sky and stared at it with a gentle expression. His hair calmly danced and swayed to and fro in the air.

I tried to touch him but I couldn't. It was just a hallucination. How could I forget that?

And just earlier, I vaguely remember what happened to me, but the feeling was so vivid.

I feel worried. I feel so worried upon hearing the news that he was attacked in his own house that it brought me to the edge and I started panicking. My heart started beating faster, my eyes started blurring and was overcame and covered with tears.

My breathing became rugged. My knees violently shook until it eventually gave up and I fell to the ground.

That feeling made me question myself.

—Why am I this worried about him in the first place?

I get that it's only natural to be worried about your significant other but why did it brought me to the point I was having a panic attack?

Is this finally it? Is this...the love that people speak of? Or is it just an infatuation and I don't like the idea of him getting taken away from me?

Unfortunately, I still really couldn't tell what this feeling is.

I am certain of one thing however.

I missed him, and I wish he was here.

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[Kiyo]

Inside the old house I am currently staying, I found myself staring at the screen for I don't know how many minutes has passed. Looking at the pictures, it contained the photos of a familiar empty and sterile tiles.

How did Shiro managed to get his hands on these? Was I wrong after all?

It's possible but the timing couldn't get anymore better. I stood up from my bed and walked towards the living room and saw my mother typing profusely and looking very focused. The clanking of her hands as it made contact with the keyboard was very loud and clear.

She was so concentrated with her work that she couldn't sense my presence even though I am standing just right in front of her.

"Mother," I called.

"Yes? Is there something you want, Kiyotaka? Are you hungry already?"