Song: Paramore- fences
I woke up curled up in the corner of the room. I was in a straight jacket, and I didn’t move, all around me the walls were blindingly white, and at the moment the floor seemed like the most comfy thing in the world. It was just as fluffy as the walls. I knew where I was. I’d been here before. Sleep was easy to achieve, there wasn’t much to it, I’d just close my eyes and pretend that no one was watching me, and like I was comaftrable, and that I never even knew those white walls existed, and that I hadn’t been stabbed in the leg with a needle to get me In here, and how they had been force feeding me, and I was gaining all that weight back.
I’d worked so hard to get rid of it all, and they were trying to make me gain it back, it wasn’t right.
I worked so hard to get it off, the weight, the ugly grandma arms and the fat thighs, I suffered, and I made it through, I wasn’t bullied anymore, and I was going to keep it that way. No one made fun of me for my weight or my zitty face or my greasy hair, I was gorgeous.
Now they wanted me to go back to that. They wanted me to be that girl again, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t do it.
My stomach growled but I’d had worse before, and in fact, It was like music to my ears. The sound of the food they had given me was not enough, the way they force fed me. I had to show them that I wasn’t going to listen, that I wasn’t going to be good. If they wanted me in this room then fine they’d get me in this room, so what? I wasn’t crazy.
I was just laying there, thinking, my fantasies, the daydreams I had wasted so much time having before were there now, they were making me crazy but I kept myself from moving, I wasn’t going to let them win. I wasn’t going to let them make me crazy nope. I wasn’t going to go back.
Wow that was really short. Sorry whatever.
