Song: For the first time- the Script
“Mommy,” he cried, “Where’s Daddy?” I sighed. Not this again. He’d been asking this all week, and I didn’t know how to answer it. Instead I Looked towards my mother, and left the room. Down in the basement there were several cheap bottles of wine. I took a swig.
“If you don’t want to help then you might as well get out.”
And I slid my back down the wall, and sat with my knees hugged up to my chest. I was only eighteen and I had a four year old, and one more on the way, my mom took care of her when I couldn’t and now he was gone.
“You don’t have a job? How are you going to support them when you mom doesn’t want to anymore?”
His voice still ran through my head. Every word, was another reason to take a sip of the bottle that was calling my name. Mom said she would kick me out of I got drunk again. I couldn’t lose that and be out on my own.
“Unemployment ha. That doesn’t pay for shit. Welcome to the real world. “
Why was I still thinking about him?
There was no point. There was nothing I could do to save him, my son, or the one on the way, I just had to get it over with. I took the bottle, and chugged it down, until I was choking, and then I spit some of it out onto the ground
“You’re not worth all the help they give you.”
I took a few breaths and continued to drink, the alcohol burned my throat on the way down.
“You’re just a no good whore,”
I kept drinking, two bottles, two and a half, until I broke down sobbing on the basement floor, until I was drunk enough to see his face, Or was he really there?
I drank some more.
“I have to pee,” I giggled.
“No shit,” was his response as he carried me up the stairs.
“You just got pregnant to keep me around.” I told him, trying to get out of his arms.
“Hush baby,” he said, struggling to keep hold of me.
“I really have to pee,” was the last thing I said before I passed out. I remember the warm feeling between my legs, and his face, looking down over me. After that, I was gone. There was nothing he could do to save me. I overdosed. He came back and I never would. Tragic ain’t it?
