Song: Falling in – Lifehouse
You don’t have to feel it too
It’s only love I feel for you
Something I can’t drop just yet
Something I I’ve felt since the moment we met
The moment it happened, I couldn’t be bothered
To look at another woman, but it goes farther.
You see that I love you no matter what
Even if you only screw things up.
There’s something about you I can’t deny
You know I love you and you don’t even try
You stay perfect in my eyes
And I just sit here and cry not even gonna lie
I love you more then you love me
And I don’t know how to deal with it
^^I donno I mean I wrote that poem this morning based on the song, but I don’t feel like it’s really writing. I wasn’t writing anything and something I learned from this whole thing is that writing every day, it isn’t easy, and it’s really the first thing I’ve pushed myself through, I mean usually I would have quit by now, and with only a few days left I’m starting to get back into a scheme of things since I finally got wifi and I guess I should be writing beating death right now, but I don’t want another dramatic chapter, I mean a sad chapter, I have the same problem as Zaida, I can’t force happy music to come out of me when I’m not in the mood for it, and if I do it sounds forced. So I’m sorry that it’s just not working for me at the moment. I just…. Have you ever felt like you’re not enough? Like. Have you ever just looked at your life and went… what the hell is wrong with me?
I mean honestly, nothing is wrong with me, except that I have werewolf arms, and back acne, and horrible eye sight and parents that tell me it’s wrong to wear makeup on a daily basis because it makes me look like a whore, and fat legs, and a retarded nose, and hair that just won’t stay where I want it to. I have a good sense of fashion but I have horrible clothes because everything is either fucking ten thousand dollars, not in my size, doesn’t look good on me, strapless, or something my dad would never let me wear in public. I spend all my time in my lab top roleplaying or doing homework, and I complain a lot. I’m clumsy as fuck, I can’t spell for shit, and it seems like everything I do no matter what I only end up making things worse for myself.
I don’t know it just seems like I’m never enough, like maybe some whore out there deserves to be with the guy I’ve liked for almost the entire year now, and maybe as soon as I make friends with this cute new German exchange student she can come over there and he’ll forget about me, and maybe everyone will love her for some reason I don’t know, and maybe she can cry and get sympathy. You know that’s really something I don’t get. People are depressed all the time, people cry but you want to honestly know something, I believe that the ones who do it in public are all fakers. You want to know why?
In public you get attention for crying because you want to punch a guidance counselor in the face because she won’t let you take the class you want, at home, I get my dad telling me that it’ll be ok, in public when you cry over getting an excellent on a freaking solo, when it honestly isn’t horrible, and saying your going to commit suicide for that, if you do it in public you get people to give you sympathy, at home, and then the friends that I have we get nothing for throwing a sob party because we failed band and didn’t even make it to the judging room. I bet if I threw a pity party in public I probably wouldn’t even get as much attention as her. Honestly I don’t even know what is wrong with that.
