(Ate Your Heart) Tommy x male reader

first kill

You wake up in a chipper mood. Tommy's rubbing your back and admiring you with a smile. He kisses your forehead. You look at the time and see that you're a hour late. You try to get up but tommy pushes you back down on to him. "Stop it tommy, we're late." You say. "I gave y'all a day off but dont expect that every time you two want to have fun late at night." She says happily. "Thank you luda mae." You say relieved. Tommy gently strokes your hair. You kiss his cheek. Your stomach grumbles. He stands up and leaves the room to go get your late breakfast. You lay there but a weird noise makes you jump. You look out the window to see a girl walking in the field. Tommy taps your shoulder. "There's a girl in the field." You say. He looks out the window then quickly to the door. Before closing it he looks back at you. "I'm fine with it." You say. He nods and locks the door. You turn on the tv and eat your breakfast. After a moment the door unlocks and luda mae is in the doorway. She signals for you to come with her. You turn off the tv and follow her. She sits you down at the table next to tommy. "What happened?" You ask worryingly. "Nothing yet." She says. She puts a knife next to your hand. You tense up. "I've been thinking it's about time you really join the family." She says. "I'm not sure I'm ready for this, I couldn't kill someone." You say awkwardly. "After the first time it gets easier." Hoyt says. Tommy grabs your hand and looks at you with pleading eyes. You grab the knife with your opposite hand. "That's a good boy, tommy's gonna go with you of course; since you're not really built to be a murderer." Luda mae says. You gulp. "Its not that bad once you get used to it." Monty says. "Are we gonna go now?" You ask. Luda mae nods. "Ok." You say nernervously. You and tommy stand up still holding hands and leave. "I dont know how I'm gonna do this, sure I could probably maim someone but I don't think I could kill them." You say worryingly. Tommy squeezes your hand a little. "I do want to be apart of your family but this is gonna be really hard to do." You say awkwardly. He gives you a kiss to make you feel better. You here noise close by. You get closer to the noise to find two people in a tent. You and Tommy look at eachother. "I'm so nervous." You say. Tommy pats your back and walks towards the tent. He chainsaws the tent open and the two people run. You and tommy chase after them. Tommy chases after the guy and you chase after the girl. You follow her to the slaughterhouse. She trips over a baby cow and you pin her down. "I'm so sorry for this but I have to do it." You say sadly. She spits in your face. "Well now I'm less sorry." You say. You slit her throat with shaking hands. You watch her as she bleeds out. You throw up. You grab her legs and drag her through the woods. Tommy finds you and helps you carry her. He has the guy over his shoulder. "Did you do it?" Hoyt asks. "I got the girl, tommy got the boy." You reply. Hoyt smiles. "Now you're a real Hewitt." He says happily. Luda mae hugs you. "Now the hard parts out of the way." She says. "I guess." You whisper. "Dont be like that sweetheart, we all have to do it sooner or later." She says. "Ok." You reply. Tommy hugs you. You both go to the basement. You watch as tommy butchers the bodies into the meals for the next few weeks. "I never would have thought butchering human bodies wouldn't be different than butchering animals." You say awkwardly. He nods. You sigh. He walks towards you. "Uh uh, remember I want you to wash your hands after doing all that." You say sternly. He roles his eyes and kisses your lips. "Ok that's fine but if you want to touch me you have to wash your hands." You say. "You almost done down there tommy?" Luda mae shouts. Tommy finishes butchering the bodies and brings the peices to luda mae. You help her make lunch. After lunch you and tommy cuddle together while watching a movie. He has his arms wrapped around you tightly. You can barely pay attention, you can only think about how you just killed and ate a person. It felt different when tommy was the one who was doing the killing but now it felt worse now that you were also killing. Tommy grabs your cheek and gives you a concerned look. "I'm fine tommy, I just still feel weird about this morning." You say. He kisses your cheek and holds you close in his arms. You fall asleep and wake up a few hours later. You look up at tommy who is looking down at you with a smile. "How long was I out?" You ask groggily. You look out the window to see its night. "Oh my." You say suprised. Tommy nods, and hands you a bowl of dinner. Its surprisingly still warm enough not to taste weird. You eat it without issue. Tommy rubs you're shoulder. You sit there staring at the floor as that feeling that you killed someone came back. You sigh. "You make it look so easy, you kill people like they're just ants. How do I get rid of this guilty feeling? I mean I just killed someone's daughter, possible sister, possible niece, possible cousin and I guess girlfriend but you took car of her boyfriend. I just feel so terrible." You say holding back tears. He rubs your back and kisses your forehead. You start to cry. He wraps his arms around you. You cry for what feels like an hour.  After you stop crying and whip your nose you feel better. "I just needed to let that out, I feel a bit better now." You say catching your breath. Tommy pats your head. You lay down and tommy cuddles you. You surprisingly fall asleep.