I can't .

~23~

POV y/n:

How could I be so stupid to trust him, 2 weeks I haven't heard from him and now it's clear to me why not, I see him with Isa beside him walking towards Charles who is in his pit box. "What are you looking at?" Says a voice next to me, I look back and see Bottas standing next to me, I point in the direction of Carlos. Bottas makes a disapproving sound. "I thought you guys had a thing?" "Yeah I thought so too. Apparently he's with Isa again even though he had said he didn't want to see her anymore." I shake my head disapprovingly as I see her keep touching him, he doesn't do much to stop her. "For him, I left Mercedes and then he does this." "Not just for him y/n you weren't happy there with all those fights between you and Toto." "Yes that's true, I hate to say my father was right again." When Carlos looks back in the direction of where I am standing I see his expression change. Ideally I would have raised my middle finger at him but instead I shake my head at him and can't hide the disappointment on my face. I turn and walk away, I guess this is for the best.

I'm trying to keep my focus on training this weekend, Bottas is making nice lap times and getting to Q3 again in qualifying. He made it very difficult for Carlos on the track. When Bottas gets out of his car I run up to him and he lifts me up and gives me a hug. "You are great y/n!" Says he as he spins arround with me in his arms. "Your dad must have been proud of you!" "He is proud of you!" Bottas puts me down upon hearing my father's voice and I don't know how to give myself an attitude. "Hey y/n, can we maybe talk?" I nod yes and follow him towards his office, on the way we pass the Ferrari boxes and I quickly look inside, I see Carlos and Isa standing in the back, I see her hand go to his face and I see her getting ready to kiss him. I grit my teeth and look away, trying to forget him. 

POV Isa: 

I press my lips against his as I see Toto and y/n walk by and see her look inside, Carlos pushes me off him roughly. "What the fuck are you doing! I'm so done with you, go away because I'm really going to hit you." He yells at me, I can laugh about it all, I have my revenge because I'm sure she saw us. If I can't have him, no one can have him. I see Carlos make a fist and he hits the wall right next to my face. "Carlos calm down!" Charles comes running towards us and pulls him into his dressing room. I leave the Ferrari boxes and the track for today, I hope that tomorrow will also be a beautiful day, with the thoughts of how Carlos and y/n must feel I enter my car with a grin on my face.

I was stupid to cheat on Carlos and to break up with him, after hearing and seeing him with another girl I got jealous. I didn't know that Carlos knew I was cheating, but I probably could have noticed from his behavior that he was becoming more and more distant towards me. When I see how he looks at y/n with his eyes full of love and lust it hurts me, I should have been the one he should have looked at like that, after having such a long relationship with him I started to miss being around him, he always took good care of me. I miss his beautiful dark brown eyes and his dark hair, not to mention his body. With those thoughts of him and our time together I will make sure that when I see y/n tomorrow she will see me extra close to Carlos all day. 

POV Carlos:

Charles pulled me in to my dressingroom after I tried to hit Isa in her face, she's fucking up my relationship with y/n and I'm sure she saw everything that happend. "Carlos, can you please calm down, you're shaking all over." "Charles, how am I supposed to explain this to y/n again when I just told her that I and Isa are nothing." Charles puts his hand on my shoulder and I look at him a little desperately. "It's not going very smoothly for you two isn't it?" "Tell me about it! I feel so guilty, she left Mercedes for me or rather she left her father for me and now she has seen this, what must she think of me!" I'm screaming out of frustration and I'm not feeling well, I get a feeling like I'm going to throw up at any moment. I quickly sit down and put my hands over my head. "Come on Carlos, I'm sure things will work out between you." "I'm afraid not, she saw Isa kissing me. How am I going to explain that I didn't want this, who will believe that? I have to find her before she runs into Isa later that would make everything even worse!" I jump up and quickly change my clothes and run towards George who is standing by his garage. "George!!! Have you seen y/n!" "I saw her with Toto heading towards his office, why, you can just call her and ask where she is, right?" Sure why didn't i think of that before. 

Quickly I grab my cell phone from my pocket and call her, I am immediately transferred to her voice mail. "Shit." I mutter to myself. I search for her name in my Whatsapp list and send her a message. 'Mi amor, let me explain please!' I see her come online and my message is read but get no reply back. I panic slightly when I also see her profile picture disappear would she have blocked me? I decide to wait for her at the exit of the track until she comes out, even if I have to wait for her there for a whole afternoon I need to talk to her.

As I wait outside it's starting to rain, I coulnd't care about it much as long as I got a chace to talk to her, after hours of waiting I see her walking to the exit, I take a step towards the grids exit and lock eyes with her, she looks at me angrily, I let her walk past by me, I completely forget what I want to say to her, I close my eyes and sigh deeply, when I open my eyes again she is in front of me. "I hate you Carlos." "But mi amor..." "My name is y/n Wolff." In her facial expression I now see the similarities with Toto even more, she looks exactly like him when she looks as angry as she looks now. "But let me explain it's not what you think." "I think it's exactly what I think. I saw you guys! Don't act like that was nothing Carlos!" She wants to run away but I grab her arm. "Let go of me Carlos or I'm going to scream really loud." I let go of her, my breathing high in my chest. I can't let her go like this. "Let me prove it was nothing! Give me a chance to make it right." "I wish you good luck with that, I'm done with it, I gave up everything for you and we don't see each other for 2 weeks and then you show up with Isa again? Come on Carlos go fool someone else." "I'm not fooling you! God damn it! Isa is a bitch I already told you that, she is only here because this is exactly what she wants, she wants me back but I want nothing more to do with her." "For someone who wants nothing more to do with her you sure are together a lot." I see in her eyes that she is trying hard to hold back her tears, I want  to hold her so badly but I don't dare because I am afraid she will scream. "I told you Carlos, it hurts to love you. you prove it once again, that I hurt myself again by giving you another chance." It makes no sense to continue talking to her and I will have to prove that what I feel to her are not only feelings of lust after all, but even if she is so angry with me now I would love to kiss her.