I can't .

~18~

POV Carlos:

After the somewhat messy morning, I am on my way with Charles and Lando to grab some lunch. "So tell us Carlos, did you have a goodnight?" Asks Lando with a childlike smile on his face. "You don't have to know everything Lando." I say with a secretive smile around my mouth. "Your smile alone tells us enough." I wave Charles' comment away and turn my attention to the food I want for a moment. As we take our seats in the dining room, I see y/n with Lewis and George sitting in the back. I observe George's posture which doesn't look too good today. I have eye contact with y/n for a moment and she smiles at me and signals to her phone. I grab my phone and see that she has sent me a message. I quickly respond to her message before the Lando has a chance to look in on my screen. "Not so silly Carlos tell me what happened between you guys?" "Nothing and if it did I'm not going to tell you here at the table." "Then when?" "You will see when we are officially together." With that said I immediately think again of all the questions I would still like to ask her, I would also like to know a little more about her bond with her father. Toto was so angry this morning and was about to fire her. Also her bond with Lewis is something I am still worried about, it is clear to see that he wants more from her and I can't take that very well.

POV y/n:

I feel guilty looking at George, he doesn't seem to be feeling well since yesterday, I try to talk to him but don't really get a response. As Lewis steps away from the table to clean up things I finally find the strength to ask George how he is really doing. "Georgie how are you really feeling?" He approaches me with watery eyes and I wait for his answer. "Do you really want to know?" ""Yes of course." "As I told you before this morning I was really starting to get feelings for you, you were so sweet to me and even though I knew it was fake I started to love you." I see a tear roll down his cheek which he quickly wipes away, I want to take his hand but he pulls it away. "It's better if you don't touch me anymore." "But George...." I can't finish my sentence because Lewis is back at our table, we get up and before walking out of the room I exchange a quick glance with Carlos.

I will have to face my father again after this morning, after our conversation this morning I have the idea that he has not finished talking to me, together with Lewis I am on my way to Toto's office. Lewis wants to discuss something with him and I have to be there because it is information that concerns me as well. Slowly I walk behind Lewis into the office where I feel my father's eyes burning on my skin, I take a seat at the long table in the middle of the room and wait until everyone is seated. Lewis explains how he thinks he can change the bad results we are making now, Toto listens attentively and nods occasionally. After a while I am asked if I understand it all, I nod and say yes. "Then let's try this, thanks Lewis you can go again." I want to stand up too when I see my father's look change the moment I stand. "I said Lewis could go, we're not done talking y/n." Reluctantly, I sit back down and wait for Lewis to leave.

I am lectured one more time by my father, apparently he has caught enough things in the corridors about my relationship with George. Every time I hear his name I feel guilty, I want to make it up to him but don't really know how I should do that, especially if he doesn't want to have contact with me , which becomes very difficult since we work for the same team. The thoughts of changing teams shoot to my mind, I happen to know that Alpine's team and the Alfa Romeo team are still looking for people. But I don't want to let Lewis down either. There are so many thoughts running through my head that for a moment I don't know which choice will be the best. 

POV Lando: 

"Has anyone seen Carlos?" I ask at the Ferrari team, I'm in the completely wrong pit boxes but I need to find Carlos before Isa does. "Carlos!" I shout loudly at the door of his dressing room, I get no answer and I throw open the door. "Lando what are you doing here!" "Carlos listen, Isa is here!" "Isa?" I see his look change. "You're kidding me right?" "No sorry, I came here as fast as I could to tell you I thought you would know about this." "No I haven't spoken to her since we broke up. I have nothing to tell her so let her stay away from here." It's easy for Carlos to talk but I can't help him with this since I also have to get into my car for the first training session in a moment myself. "I can't help you any further Carlos but I felt I should let you know." I quickly turn around to run back to my own car when I hear behind me that practice will start in 10 minutes, I hope Carlos can avoid her but I am afraid she is looking for him, as I walk away I see Isa walking near the Ferrari pit boxes, I quickly look at y/n but she is sitting on the pitwall next to Toto with her head in the screens.